Missing You, A Follow Up

3:43 PM Elizabeth Seckman 27 Comments

 


For last week's IWSG post, the question was to name someone we miss in our writer life. I immediately thought of other writers and bloggers who have come and gone. Then as I was making my reading rounds, so many mentioned their moms that I started to feel bad. My mom was always my biggest fan and supporter. So much so that I'd get annoyed with her. Seriously, I am a lazy, contented creature of habit. If my mother hadn't pushed, I'd still be writing stories in notebooks. And then when asked, I never even mentioned her, which is totally like me. My mom was always my given. 

Kinda like when someone says...if you're going to be stranded on an island, what would you bring? I'd never say Oxygen because Oxygen is the given. That's my mom's place in my life. She was always my given. 

Age 12, she bought me a typewriter from a flea market
Ages 12-17, she was the keeper of my poems, short stories, and two page "novels". She bought me a  subscription to Writer's Digest and encouraged me to enter into competitions, which I never did. I didn't like to share anything I wrote with anyone other than my mom
Age 18 she expressed her annoyance that I switched my major from Journalism to Business Administration. Agreed the switch to Counseling was a good fit. Upgraded me to an electric typewriter. 
Age 20 Bought me a word processing typewriter. 
Ages 21-30 Accepted a pause for marriage and grandkids, because the only thing my mom loved more than books was family.
Age 31 Suggested rather than returning to my day job, I should try my hand at writing and commenced to buying submission guides, how-to books, and began stalking book signings for writing and publishing tips. 
Age 30-40 I wrote. She read. She was always honest, sometimes too honest, offering plenty one-star critiques such as "this sucks"...What sucks about it? "Everything. Start over." But then there would also be the very wise advice like, stay away from cliched characters. The mother-in-law doesn't always have to be the bad guy. Make the bad guy do some good and the good guy do some bad. Write honestly and forget worrying about what the world thinks. And the very best ever mom writer advice that I will one day hang on my wall...stop trying to impress me with how well you can write and just tell me a damn good story. 
Post 40  she nagged at me to get a book published before she died so she could see it. Which I did. 
Post publication, my mother handed out business cards, harassed local librarians and book store owners. She was also really good at coming up with really ridiculous marketing plans, my favorite being: Get Oprah to read and recommend your book. And if that fails, win the Rita (the RWA's yearly award). 
"Sure," I said. I'll get right on that."
I miss her boundless ability to dream. She always thought big. I tend to think small. I also miss her optimism. She never once doubted that I could, she just worried whether or not I ever would.  


*My mom collected elephants and there were seven of us in my family of origin. Elephants are loyal, loving, and tenacious, perfectly representing my mom. This photo is courtesy of cocoparisienne from Pixabay

27 comments:

  1. I know she was tough sometimes, but she was tough love in all the right places when it came to your writing.

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    1. She always thought she knew best. She chose my husband too. LOL I guess she did know me pretty well!

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  2. That's so great how totally supportive your mom was of your writing and how she nudged you to choose writing over another career path.

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    1. I'm glad I got the chance to tell before she passed. My mom would feel down about herself because she sometimes didn't feel like she had a grip on everything and never felt like she'd accomplished enough. I was able to tell her it was having her as a mom that taught me to dream. If not for her, there never would have been this blog or any book. I'd have never had anything more than stacks and stacks of notebooks with scribbles in them.

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  3. I’m glad you got that book published during her time. I know she is proud of you.
    Lisa

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  4. What a wonderful tribute to your number one and always fan.
    Hugs,

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  5. This gives me more appreciation for you and your mom. The apple doesn't fall far, and she saw your gifts even before you did.
    Virtual hugs.

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  6. Yes, she was. So much so that I would get a bit embarrassed. LOL

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  7. A great mother is the greatest treasure any of us can have :)

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  8. Aww. That's actually a sweet story, especially when we think about those who wish to write and get no support at home.

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    1. I used to think my mom was a bit crazy because she encouraged me to do anything I could think of. I kept thinking--parents should be telling me to do something sensible. LOL

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  9. I miss your mother with you, Elizabeth. I hope she see us talking today about how wonderful she was.

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    1. Thank you, Joylene. I like to think she knows somehow...

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  10. She was a gem, Elizabeth. You were lucky to have her.

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  11. She sounds like a wonderful whirlwind of a woman! She knew what you could achieve and wouldn't settle until you had. I don't think you need to feel bad about last week's omission - she's been in everything you've done since the age of 12 x

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  12. Can you imagine, if she'd decided to become a literary agent?
    Glad you had a good VD.
    Hugs

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