IWSG: How-to Develop Insecurity

12:00 AM Elizabeth Seckman 50 Comments

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I've got it!

I know the secret.

If you've ever wanted a serious case of writer's block that borders on chronic constipation, I have the answer.

All you need to do is prove you suck.

That means finding empirical evidence that you really are not as good as other people. That when everyone else went through God's gift line- you were probably busy bouncing on fluffy clouds and got dropped to earth a half-witted loser.

But you can't just rely on assumption, you must have solid waste evidence.

Fortunately, proof is always just a side-by-side comparison away:

How do you compare to everyone else?

Come on...you know what I'm asking...

Who has a better blog? More friends?

Who has a contract? Oh, and if you do have a contract...is it BIG?

Hmm...and what about your hair? Is it as pretty or are you rocking the rat nest?

 How about your house? Compared to Betty Homemaker next door, you can't tell a swag from a drape.

What about your dog? Can it roll over, or does it just sit? What no dog, or do you have too many?

How about money? Everyone knows the guy (or gal) with the most wins the game of Life.

Don't forget about your lawn. Is it ever greener on your side of the septic tank?

Seriously...I could do this all day! The possibilities are endless! I could totally accomplish not a single damn thing (which of course helps to accelerate my "I suckedness") by sending my brain in comparison direction.

As a matter of fact, I could hone this skill for years and then wake one day and realize: I failed.

Or I could stop worrying about everyone else, get off my dead beat ass and get my crap done.

Hmm...maybe Santa has some advice...I mean who knows better about doing the impossible?





50 comments:

  1. I WISH I WAS YOU!!! oops, wait, i meant i am so happy for you!! girl, i love your "let's move on with me" attitude! i definitely wish some people i know would heed your advice. pfft...i can only hope :) love love love ya!

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    1. Here I was wishing I was fun and exciting and had long, pretty hair like you!!

      Love you too chickie!

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    2. But this whole time I've been copying YOU!!! ♥♥♥

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    3. Be sure to trip every now and then. Breaks up the seriousness of life. :)

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  2. It's better to actually do something than compare oneself to others.

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    1. I have to tell myself that every now and then. I am guilty of the wish I was organized like Medeia sort of thinking.

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  3. Comparing yourself to others is like staring at a funhouse mirror waiting to look like a superstar. Nothing good can come of it. Great IWSG post and definitely going to develop on feeling secure instead of insecure.

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    1. Excellent analogy! You're so right.

      Though I am a big fan of those skinny mirrors. ;)

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  4. Now that is sound advice! We shouldn't compare, just be the best WE can be.

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    1. So true. I mean no matter how hard I try, I will never be someone else!

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  5. Great advice, Elizabeth. We all know those 'perfect' people we can't help but compare ourselves to, but who knows, maybe they wish they could be more like us. :)

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    1. That is true. I once had a lady who, by all accounts, appears to be perfect (always has great hair, clothes, make-up) say to me, "Elizabeth, I wish I had your confidence. I would never leave the house with my hair undone and no make-up."

      I still laugh at that. I know it was a heartfelt compliment, but it's still soooo funny.

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  6. One foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other, okay, I'm doing fine as long as no dwarf gets in my way. Great advice!!

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    1. Just leap the dwarf and keep on moving!

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  7. You rock my socks off sometimes. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have sat at my computer paralyzed by my empirical evidence. I'd be sitting like that now, but at some point I sort of realized that no one else was going to do it. Sorry if I'm not Stephen King, but he was busy. So I guess the world will have to make do with me.

    one foot in front of the other is how you walk around the world.

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    1. I am a closet case sock rocker...unless I try to do the Tom Cruise Risky Business slide...then I'm a fail. :)

      And I think making do with you is wonderful!!

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  8. My internal ego is a monster. She knows she's the best at everything... but I do try to smother her in public in case she embarrasses me!

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    1. Don't smother her!! You should be so proud of her. It's not like she's not correct in her assessment!

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  9. You're so right, Elizabeth! If we want to change anything, we have to take action. You'd be surprised what can happen once you set goals and get started on meeting them.

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    1. That is true. Less time spent thinking about it and more time spent working on it and it happens (then people will think you got lucky and throw stones at you...just joking!!)

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  10. I loved that show as a kid. Now I'm going to be singing that song all day.

    Comparisons only deconstruct us, which is bad. We only need be ourselves and do our best.

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    1. Amen!

      One of my favorite Christmas show songs...well, 2nd. I like the Heat Meister one better.

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  11. Florida humidity is doing crazy things to my hair, definitely got the rats nest thing going on. But you're right. Stop comparing and just get the shit done. :D

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    1. Oh, humidity. I look like Roseanne RoseannaDanna in the humidity. We could have a poofy hair contest, but then that kind of goes against the flavor of the post!

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  12. Oh, I do hate anything that borders on chronic constipation (delirious diarrhea too) but I do love your witty humor.

    P.S. I did *not* watch the clip. I still have zip-a-dee-doo-dah zip-a-dee-ay stuck on continuous replay from a post I read yesterday.

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    1. Ah come on...sing it along with me...

      And may you never suffer either condition- may your muse carry just the right amount of fiber.

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  13. You nut! You're the most amazing person I know! If it makes you feel any better, I covet your skills on a daily basis, and I'm totally jealous of your voice. (yes, your voice) I mean, really, you could be like the next Pixar princess with your fluttery tone. Also, you can plot like nobody's biz. Plus, you've got stacks of completed novels that just need a little polish. See now, I could go on and on. You is da bomb! :)

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    1. I see my cheerleader has arrived!!!

      I love the idea of being a princess...I already have the tiara.

      Love you too Chick! You're the bestest, brightest, and most essential part of my make believe team. :)

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  14. Your post made me smile and think about the Desiderata. Good reminder to give thanks for what I've got and stay focused on my journey.

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    1. Jill, can you believe I had never read that poem? I am flattered that you would even think of the drivel I spew alongside such a lovely, profound piece of work. So glad you brought it to my attention. I'm cutting and pasting here...in case there are other people who are as clueless to poetry as I am!

      desiderata - by max ehrmann

      Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

      As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

      If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

      Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

      Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

      Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

      Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

      With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

      Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

      Max Ehrmann c.1920

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  15. Life is too short to compare yourself to others constantly. We are generally all lucky enough to have positive things going on in our lives. Just one life. Why waste it on wishing it was like someone else's all the time? Just a thought. :)

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    1. And it's a good thought! Just one, people...don't waste it in futility...Lydia and I say so ;)

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  16. At least you have the most handsome CyberTwin in the known Blogisfear.

    His shiny head alone can power a fleet of Nissan Leafs for a week.

    He makes himself swoon.

    And while he may not be the most interesting man in the world and doesn't always drink beer, he does drink Dos Equis whenever it's free.

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    1. That's true. No one can compare to my cyber brother. I might have gotten all the hair, but he got all the charm. :)

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  17. Absolutely agree Elizabeth... forget about what others looks like / are doing, etc and just get on with it. Everyone is unique, everyone is beautiful in their own way. Just like you are ;)
    P.S I'm gonna have Santa's song in my head for days now!
    Suzy Turner, YA Author

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    1. You're welcome. It beats a pantyliner commercial ditty any day!

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  18. Great post! Seriously! If we could have back all of the wasted moments when we look over the fence at other people's lives, we'd really have time to get our own stuff done.

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    1. And I'm guilty of it. I won't lie...but I have learned to mentally kick myself in the butt by reminding myself I won't ever get anywhere just wishing!

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  19. Elizabeth, I nominated you for another award. Please visit my blog, www.dhdunne.blogspot.com to find out more.

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  20. You are so right, Elizabeth. A wise teacher's words, "Keep yours eyes on your own paper" apply to everything in life!

    BTW, if I could, I'd have your hair. The color is gorgeous!

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    1. I've never had a teacher tell me that...she always told the people who sat around me that. Just joking!

      You like my hair color? It's totally fake. Preference by Loreal Natural Blond. I always giggle at the irony of the name when I buy it.

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  21. Elizabeth...

    You are a treasure... Laughter is the best answer for any type of anxiety...

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  22. hahahah, awesome post! Yeah, it's easy to waste time comparing ourselves to others.

    Lynda R Young
    IWSG co-host

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    1. Thanks Lynda and thanks for taking the time to co-host!

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  23. Hey Elizabeth,

    You can relax now. Yes, I've finally arrived after signing autographs for my millions of adoring fans.

    I never rated all this who has the bestest blog. Hell, there's enough bloggers out there who tell me how great they are. Their arrogance astounds me and I've been known to visit such sites and leave a rather sarcastic comment that's completely opposite to their legions of starstruck worshippers.

    Like you, I don't give three hoots about comparing. The whole thing about who has the most 'friends' on 'Farcebook' is a sad joke. The "followers" crap on blogs means absolutely nothing. I've been to sites with over a 1000 followers and no comments. That tells me something.

    Nah, Elizabeth, we aint got the time or inclination to compare. Just like you, I just want to have fun and have a right good laugh.

    Your adoring, loyal fan,

    Gary! :)

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    1. I'm so glad you took the time to put the autograph pen down and come visit me! I don't count numbers either. I am proud of the fact that the ones who stop by are good friends...and having true friends is far more valuable than gold itself!

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  24. A timely post, this is exactly the kind of thing I'm trying to banish from my thought processes. You sum it up perfectly, and I can keep moving on and doing my own thing.

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    1. I have to remind myself to banish the thoughts too. Hope you're successful!!

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