Who Am I? I am the Shizzle, Mistah Spade!
Emily and Tammy have invited the very sassy (yes, I just called a dude sassy!) David Spade to the internet. Okay, well, I don't really know that David is going to be here, but he is being channeled by Emily and Tammy and he has a few nosy questions:(Pause a moment for some shameless self-promotion...I am putting together a blog tour for January...so if you have the time and/or inclination to host me for a day...email me at: eseckman(at)ymail(dot)com. Thanks...now back to Mr. Spade!)
1. How many speeding tickets have you gotten?
Zero. Not a single one. Came close once. I was driving back to college in a Chevy Chevette and was clocked at 70 miles per hour. The interstate speed limit was 55. The state trooper didn't ticket me, but he did want to know...how did I get that piece of crap car to go that fast? I told him it had to be gravity...I was going down a big hill.
2. Can you pitch a tent?
No. And I don't want to learn. Not doing exhausting outdoor labor is one of the reasons I got married.
3. What was your worst vacation ever?
Any that started with pitching a freaking tent.
4. What was the last thing you bought over $100?
Groceries. Or do you mean single item? Cable. I just paid over $150 to watch tv...for one month! When I was a kid we had free tv...sure it was fuzzy and we had to wrap foil around the rabbit ears, but it cost NOTHING!
5. We're handing you the keys to what?
Fort Knox. I want a bail out.
6. What was the last meal you cooked that made even you sick?
Hmmm....it's been a long time since I actually cooked...I tried to grill fish this summer. Epic fail. Stuck to the grates, tasted like crap. The stomach turned just looking at the mess.
7. Fill in the blank: Oh my gosh! Becky, look at her butt! It is so big. She looks like___?
One of those rap guys girlfriend....This is one of the soundtracks in the make-believe movie montage of my life! How did you know?!
8. What was your first car?
Black Chevy Chevette: no AC, red pleather seats, and a cassette player. I was cool before it was kewl.
9. Your best friend falls and gets hurt. Do you ask if he or she's okay or laugh first?
Now, that completely depends on the fall! Willd swinging arms, legs going spread eagle, maybe spilling some coffee all over? Totally hilarious moment! I'll not only laugh, I'll grab the camera. A four foot drop that leads to unconsciousness? I'll take the iPhone off record and call 911.
10. What's the worst song ever?
"Ice, Ice Baby"...and just because I MAY know every word by heart and MIGHT have choreographed dance moves to it, means nothing. It's like a cold germ. Catch a snippet of it and it will clog your head for a week.
See you later David...go make a new movie...one like "Joe Dirt"...I love to laugh.
No AC - that is pure torture!
ReplyDeleteAnd so far camping is winning for worst vacations.
Camping is barbaric.
DeleteI've been seeing Ice Ice Baby on a lot of lists. Poor Vanilla Ice.
ReplyDeleteAnd I love your answer to #3.
Honestly, it's one of those songs I have on my play list, but then blame it on my husband. ;)
Deletegroceries, ugh!
ReplyDeleteft knox, great answer!
ice ice baby! that poor guy! great answers!
Oh no Tara...now I;m starting to feel bad about dissing Vanilla! Hope he's not reading this...truly Mr. Ice, I really do like your song...in small doses.
DeleteHahahaha... Liz, you are SO the funniest EVER. I'm totally dying here. :D
ReplyDeleteSend me GPS coordinates...I'll send a CPR team. And I'll make sure they're all hotties. Tis the season to give good gifts. ;)
DeleteOkay, I'd laugh at flailing arms, too.
ReplyDeleteSome falls are just epic and HAVE to be laughed at!
DeleteFORT KNOX? Why didn't I think of that?
ReplyDeleteYou're in my top five, Elizabeth. You funny girl, you. :)
I don't know why you didn't. Seemed pretty obvious to me ;)
DeleteFort Knox, that's an awesome answer. Go for it all.
ReplyDeleteI could handle it!
DeleteT.V. is so expensive! That's why I only have Netflix. Funny how so many people have mentioned the rap guys girlfriend. I didn't even think of it :0
ReplyDeleteI would get rid of it...but then my kids would whine and my ears would bleed.
DeleteFunny answers! I'm not very good at pitching a tent, either!
ReplyDeleteReservations are easier!
DeleteMkay - we are all waiting for that vlog of you doing dance moves to Ice Ice Baby. *taps foot*
ReplyDeleteVisiting from "And You Are ...?"
Come and visit me for my Countdown to Kitschmas! thriftshopcommando.blogspot.com
Bwa ha ha...that will NEVER happen. :)
DeleteI visited this morning...I'll be back again. :)
My first car had no air either. It had a sunroof though, which was cool. I could live without the air. What was hard was not having rear defrost. A killer when winter lasts 6 months. Gotta have a terrific ice scraper.
ReplyDeleteI hate scraping ice. Ugh. Thankfully, we only have about four months of scraping.
DeleteI'm with you on #3, but #10? Noooo...Vanilla Ice rocks! Er, raps. Whatever.
ReplyDeleteLOL. I admit. Vanailla Ice is a fun song to listen to, like one time per decade. And camping is fun when I pitch a tent over a bed in a Marriott.
DeleteOoh, I agree with Ice, Ice Baby. I had a friend who thought that Queen had copied the bass line from Vanilla Ice rather than the other way round. Now as Under Pressure - the origin of that bass line - is one of my most favourite songs, I almost disowned her!
ReplyDeleteSERIOUSLY??? Had she been living under a rock?
DeleteOh Elizabeth, that wasn't nice...but the shock got me. Buy that girl a CD or a download. My favorite Queen song? Torn between Fat Bottom Girls and Bicycle.
TV is ridiculously expensive, and ooooh, no, now I have Ice, Ice Baby in my head. What else can I think of quick? I know. Never, ever, ever . . .
ReplyDeleteSo sorry...I hate it when that happens!
DeleteHey,
ReplyDeleteCouldn't wait (well I could... my kids were hungry :) to read yours and now I know why :)
Glad to see camping sucks for you, too and there IS a post explaining #10 isn't there.... waiting like an Ice, Ice Baby :)
You're a good dad to feed the kids first. Something has to make up for the Valentine Day debacle!
Delete"Cool before it was kewl." You make me laugh. :) I do find it hard to believe you've never gotten a speeding ticket. . .You seem like a speeder to me. ;)
ReplyDeleteReally? I like to think I am the sort who could live life on the edge...but no, I am a slowpoking, rule following white knuckle driver. But I'm glad to see my image is one of danger!
DeleteHaha. All of this was GREAT!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a kid we had free cable too, though we shouldn't have. Apparently the woman who had all the codes at the cable company died in a car accident :( for the next four or five years we had cable for free.
That was kinda depressing... sorry about that.
LOL...no worries! You didn't depress me. For a few months when my husband and I were first married, the cable company didn't bill us. Someone forgot to forward our info to the billing department.
DeleteGood choice on worst song! LOL. And great interview!
ReplyDeleteGlad you agree with me! Fortunately for Ice, he has some loyal fans too!
DeleteYou just got Ice, Ice, Baby stuck in my head. I guess that's fair since I got Achy Breaky Heart stuck in others' heads for my entry. ;-p
ReplyDeleteShannon at The Warrior Muse
Yes you did! I'm still hearing his twang. :)
DeleteOMG I grew up riding around in Chevettes!!!! And don't get me started on the cost of cable!!!!
ReplyDeleteWeren't they some awesome looking cars, Lisa? High fives my fellow cable loather!
DeleteYou're the only other person who answered the song lyric excerpt with the next line. I was beginning to think I was in bizzaro world with some of the answers. Morgan suggested and eleppo (spelling) a cross of an elephant and hippo, it's just...wrong on all imaginary and scientific levels. With all those kids I see why you need a bailout and with you on the tent business. Don't know how and don't to learn either. Great answers Liz and congrats on making Emily's top 5.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sheena-kay. I guess I'm not as imaginative as Morgan. I get those keys...hotels on me for all for life!
Deletewhat? totally funny the cop said that! that was ice ice baby...too cold...too cold
ReplyDeleteI'm sooo glad he had a sense of humor! I did get a really long lecture on small cars being death traps at high speed impact, blah blah blah...but no ticket!!
DeleteHere in West Aus you WOULD have got a ticket for that - we are a police state over here ;)
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love "Ice Ice Baby" 'cause it's so daggy. I totally loved Jim Carrey's spoof version of it too ;)
I'll have to check out Jim Carrey's spoof...so curious, how do you spoof something already a bit silly?
DeleteThat was in 1992. It's changed over here too...sigh...an officer once told me that giving tickets closed their budget shortfalls, so they are eager to ticket. So sad.
Been reading lots of these tonight, so far my favorite vacation answer was: "Any that started with pitching a freaking tent"
ReplyDeleteThank you Rhonda! It's not really a profound statement, but one grounded in truth.
DeleteI'm guessing you don't like camping either? Ha ha ha!!!
ReplyDeleteNow, how did I give you that impression? LOL. HATE IT. Nothing about camping is fun.
DeleteI'm not a fan of freaking tents either - much harder to set up than regular ones. Awesome answers! :)
ReplyDeleteEvery tent is a freaking tent when I get done with it. It's proven science that if you curse at them they go up better.
DeleteI don't like camping either tried it once and never did it again. Have to agree with worst song pick.
ReplyDeleteIf there is ever a place suffering a drought,give me a tent. First night I sleep in it, it will surely rain!
DeleteI'll have to talk to your husband about number 2.
ReplyDeleteYes, I can host you.
Thanks Peaches!
DeleteI remember Ice Ice Baby. I loved it for months until it became uncool to listen to it.
ReplyDeleteI remember the Chevette. I didn't get a chance to drive it since I was young, but the family had it.
I know what you mean. I used to love "Thriller" by Michael Jackson until the radio played the songs so much everyone got sick of them all.
DeleteMy answer to number 9 is I always laugh first. This is how I know I'm maybe not a great person. :)
ReplyDeleteIt proves you're human Libby...and that your funny bone isn't broken.
Delete