Good Things Rescue

12:26 PM Elizabeth Seckman 56 Comments


Last week, I openly admitted to once thinking my husband was a jerk. (Read it Here). 

My husband was asked if the post was true. He's a reasonably honest man, so he confessed- Yes, he said all those things and probably some worse. 

Being the insightful guy that he is, he came home and asked, "Why in the hell did you put up with me?"

One, he's lucky I grew up with two older brothers and was conditioned to male deviance
Two, he's cute.
Three, he's simply the best human being I've ever met. 

My husband and I have been together 28 years and in those 28 years, I'm not sure he has ever put himself first. 

My husband grew up on a farm. Every day he had more work on his plate than I was given in a month. Every summer since he able to carry a hammer, he worked. Six days a week, from morning till night. He never questioned it. He never rebelled or demanded anything in return for his labor. 

Now that we have kids, he works 40+ hour weeks. He doesn't work long hours to buy himself new toys (His car is a 1994 Nissan Sentra. It's so old and crappy, its Blue Book value depends on how much gas is in the tank). 

He works to give his kids all the things he never had. And from the day they were born, he has saved so when they grew up, they could chase whatever dream they wanted without worrying too much about the price tag. 

He's an actions kind of guy, and that works for me. 

Thanks to our hosts LexaL.G, and Tonja Drecker for this weekly good things check in!  

Do I ever have a good thing for my Celebrate check in!!
Writer friends. They keep us balanced and on track. What would we do without them?
For this week's good things, we have the lovely Stephanie stopping by and she's brought a give away!!


                                                     Stephanie to the Rescue

Let's say it's a cold, grey February weekend. Perfect couch potato weather, so...

1. What TV show should we binge on?

I would say Medium because I loved that show, but it’s gone from Netflix. I recently binge watched Mad Men and loved it, although it might be a little heavy. If you’re looking for something a little lighter, how about The Wonder Years? I’ve been watching it on Netflix and what a great show!

2. What movie should we watch?

My all-time favorite movie is The Truman Show. It feels like it says so much about life—his feeling of being trapped in a life that has been created for him, the desire to have our lives mean something… I also just watched Grease Live, which I recorded when it was on Fox. The ending was phenomenal.

3. What shows or movies should we avoid?

American Horror Story Seasons 2 on. Unless you have a stomach for extreme violence. The first season was great, but I can’t make it through any of the other seasons.

4. What snack should we bring to our weekend couch potato sit-in? 


I’ll bring the chocolate, you bring the pizza! I worked in a movie theater as a teenager, so I don’t get excited about popcorn, but I love veggie chips and French Onion dip. Wear your PJs, too. My couch potato sit-ins are very informal.

Piper Morgan Joins the Circus
By Stephanie Faris


Piper helps some four-legged friends find the perfect home in the third book of the brand-new Piper Morgan series.

Piper is super excited to help out at Bark Street, a local animal shelter in town. Who wouldn’t want to be surrounded by adorable puppies and dogs all day? And when Piper sees Taffy, the cutest dog she has ever seen, Piper is determined to find a way to bring Taffy home. But it won’t be easy—especially when she finds out someone else wants to make Taffy a part of their family, too!

Stephanie Faris knew she wanted to be an author from a very young age. In fact, her mother often told her to stop reading so much and go outside and play with the other kids. After graduating from Middle Tennessee State University with a Bachelor of Science in broadcast journalism, she somehow found herself working in information technology. But she never stopped writing.

Stephanie is the Simon & Schuster author of 30 Days of No Gossip and 25 Roses, as well as the upcoming Piper Morgan series. When she isn’t crafting fiction, she writes for a variety of online websites on the topics of business, technology, and her favorite subject of all—fashion. She lives in Nashville with her husband, a sales executive.





Misha Gericke & Beth Fred host this monthly goal update. The idea is to think big...and then work hard to make it happen. It's time to set goals for 2016!

1. Lose weight- every pound shaved off is a win. One pound down this morning.
2. Declutter rooms to declutter the mind. I tackled the man cave! How brave am I?
3. Publish two books. I'm up to chapter 13 on the very final edits. I'm hoping for an April release date. 

56 comments:

Love Tip #1: Stop Listening

6:00 AM Elizabeth Seckman 79 Comments


This is my husband, Chad, and I in our engagement photo, circa 1990.

Yes, we do make a cute couple- just ask my mother. 

And yes, we do get along great. 

I think he's the bomb-diggity, and he knows he's lucky to have me ;)

The truth is...we almost didn't make it to that picture. 

I was pretty sure he was a jerk. 

As a matter of fact, I was so vocal in my distaste for the All-American hot-shot that when we finally started dating, I'd hold my breath while we were out, waiting for one of my friends to say something like, "You know she once said she'd be a lesbian before she'd ever date you?"

Then the date would get awkward.

You see, here's the thing... 

Every time I thought Chad Seckman was cute, or thought I liked him...out of his mouth would come the stupidest stuff. 

Case in point, when I was in the 7th grade and he was in the 8th, we danced together. It was a St. Paddy's Day dance. Of course my young heart went pitter-patter. He had biceps by age 13. 

Next day, he asked me if I padded my bra. 

Chad Seckman WAS a jerk. 

Then came high school. 

My homeroom was next to Chad's handicapped brother's classroom. Every day at lunch, Chad would come out to his little brother's classroom and spend time with him. 

That was sweet. 

Surely, I misjudged.  

So, I ran track. Yeah, me. The girl who despises sweat. I ran track. Totally not to hone my athletic skills. It was 100% to get on the track bus....where that sweet, handsome Seckman guy was.  

It worked like magic. In no time, we were sharing a table at McDonald's, and I gladly gave him my extra chicken McNuggets. (For the record, he hates chicken nuggets, but young love is so much about pandering.)

Then one day he walked me home from track practice, and he said....

I can't say it here. It's a family-friendly blog. 

I put the actual pick-up line in Defying Reason (Chapter 29). It's one of those situations where fiction and reality mix. I needed a gawd-awful line for a drunken stooge to lay on a girl, and my filterless husband's drivel was the perfect well to draw from. 

My beta read the line and messaged me...OMGosh, I am sooo jealous of that line. I'm dying. LOL.

I texted back. I didn't make that up. My husband used that thinking he was clever. 

She was like...


Well, Jo (the girl MC in Defying Reason) forgave Tanner (the male MC) in a chapter or two. 

Fiction works that way. 

Chad, on the other hand, took a few years of abuse for the comment. 

My loathing was so strong, even thick-skulled, young Chad picked up on it, often asking, "What did I do?"

I said nothing. One, I wouldn't stoop so low to repeat his comment. Two, I assumed our conversation would go something like....



He never had a clue what he did. Instead, he kept a log of every insult and injustice I hurled at him. 

After we got married, he'd throw all my evil comments back at me. 

Then we had kids and still he joked about how mean I was. He'd tell the kids, "Boys, your mom tried hard to find you a different dad, but I hung in there."

Or, "Tell the boys about the time you called me stupid in front of a class full of people."**

Then I'd have to explain to the boys, "Your dad's insane."

Come on, I wasn't telling them the truth!

**(It was in history class. Chad caught me giving him an eye roll that I'm certain he deserved. He said, in front of the class, "You think I'm stupid." To which I replied, "I most certainly do not think you're stupid. Stupid implies an inability to learn. I think you're ignorant, which means you're fully capable of learning...you just choose not to.")

Finally, after years of me being made the bad guy, I asked him, "Don't you remember what you said to me?"

Of course he didn't, so I reminded him. 

To which, he laughed. "Yeah. That's something I'd say. You didn't like that? It was a compliment."


So, how did it ever work out? 

One night his best friend asked me to go for a ride...to give him the opportunity to state Chad's case and vouch for his friend.

Thoughtful. Generous. Patient. Kind. 

Hell, to hear Kevin talk, Chad was born in a Boy Scout uniform and spent his free time throwing himself in front of buses to save puppies. 

I believed him. Young me never figured one devil might be vouching for the other....and that's a good thing.

Once I stopped listening to what Chad said and started judging him by his actions, I had a winner. 

So, stop listening. Actions do speak louder than eloquence.




Thanks to our hosts LexaL.G, and Tonja Drecker for this weekly good things check in!  

~Boy #1, Caleb, was offered a full scholarship to Cornell. We're thrilled and excited. He has so many great offers from some exceptional law schools, he has a tough decision to make soon.

~Boy #3, Carter, scored a 31 on his ACT. That puts him in a much better place to pull in some scholarships.

~I'm ditching my old internet provider. I had the new internet lines run today. I cannot wait to tell the old measured internet service to go fly a kite. Woot woot. Raise the roof. Good bye Suddenlink!!



79 comments:

Hatt Tricking the Cat

6:00 AM Elizabeth Seckman 63 Comments


Pat Hatt at Rhymetime offered this inspiration to bloggers:  Poof! Topics galore. Took 5 minutes at my shore. Don't you like a helpful cat? 

Why yes, I do like a helpful cat....

He took the time to inspire, so today I won't perspire. I'll take that cool cat's advice and put my brain on ice. 

1. Mommy Issues I have no issues with my mom. I think that crazy chick's da bomb.
2. Daddy Issues My dad was tops! No issues with my pops. 
3. How to build a fire? Need one quick? Flick your Bic.
4. How to change a tire? This gal don't play, she calls Triple A. 
5. Places I almost died? Land sakes alive, I don't even sky dive. 
6. Things never to say to your mother. My lord, never tell Mom you're bored. 
7. Butt pics Tsk, tsk, you asked for this...




Thanks to our hosts LexaL.G, and Tonja Drecker for this weekly good things check in!  


~The kids had more snow days this week. I know, adults are tired of the snow, but kids do the most awesome snow dances when they get that call.

~Crawled back into the edit cave. Hopefully this is the final edit. Wish me luck.

~I bought Scrivener. I'm not really sure how to use it, but I have it.




Are you ready for the challenge?

Sign up Here!

63 comments:

I Am What I Say I Am

6:00 AM Elizabeth Seckman 60 Comments


My son sent me a link to a study by WalletHub that ranked West Virginia (our home state) as the worst place to live. He was shocked.
I was too. We can usually count on Mississippi, Kentucky, or Alabama to carry the honor.
"We're the worst, huh?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said. "I didn't realize it was so bad here..."
"Fuggitabout it," I said. "People love to tell people how sucky their lives are. Ignore it and be happy."
He was satisfied.
But I wasn't.
I've been sick of these sort of "studies" since I was in college.
My first week at Marshall University, I got a letter from my adviser to go to a seminar for first generation college students (neither of my parents graduated college). I dutifully went and took my place among the other first generationers. The professor took the podium and commenced giving us the sh*ttiest pep talk ever. It seemed, as first generationers, we were doomed to failure. The statistics proved that very few of us would finish. Not only did we NOT come from households that were understanding and conducive to the education experience,but we were also-- GASP-- from the Appalachian region of the nation. The way this guy talked, the only people with a scarier start were the ones living in boxes in Detroit.
I started to think this little talk was worse than a waste of my time. It was detrimental to my psyche. I mean would I tell a runner who's lined up at the starting line, "Whoa, dudette, you look way chunkier than everyone else here, so we're going to ask you to untie your shoes and run backward, so when you fail, you won't take it personally."
Thanks, but no thanks.
I refused to return for the rest of the meetings.
I don't see the point of negative thinking. As a lifetime resident of the Mountain State, I've grown up hearing all about our failures. Personally, I think the obsession with the negatives is taught too early and too often, handicapping people from the get-go. How is a person supposed to see the stars, much less reach for them, when people keep handing them umbrellas to protect them from the sky they're certain will fall at any time?
Statistics can't tell you who you are and what you're capable of being.

Now, onto the regularly scheduled portion of this post :)

Thanks to our hosts LexaL.G, and Tonja Drecker for this weekly good things check in!  

We went the better part of the week with a half-plugged sewage line. I didn't realize how spoiled I was by such things as flushing toilets and long showers.

My husband snaked the drain; the plumbers snaked the drain; and finally my husband and kids dug up the yard and snaked the drain from the underground clean out.

The clog was fixed and we're back to flushing at will.

That's a very good thing!

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FreeFall_BackworldsBook7_3DSoft release date for FreeFall, Backworlds Book 7, May. Subject to change because life stuff is in flux. Progress is being made. The secrets of the planet Iax are revealed. Craze finds out whether he can ever go home again. War stuff is starting. Oh no! Lots of drama and opera in space.

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Backworlds_BoxCollectionBooks1-3
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Projected release date for Backworlds Collection, Volumes 1-3, end of February. Again depending on life stuff being in flux. Started reading through them and marking up any stray typos. Getting it ready for formatting.

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What if the government tried to create the perfect utopia? Could a society linked to a supercomputer survive on its own? Do our reflections control secret lives on the other side of the mirror? Can one moment split a person’s world forever?

Exploring the fantastic, ten authors offer incredible visions and captivating tales of diverse reality. Featuring the talents of L. G. Keltner, Crystal Collier, Hart Johnson, Cherie Reich, Sandra Cox, Yolanda Renee, Melanie Schulz, Sylvia Ney, Michael Abayomi, and Tamara Narayan.

Hand-picked by a panel of agents and authors, these ten tales will expand your imagination and twist the tropes of science fiction. Step through the portal and enter another dimension!

And I leave you with a gorgeous parting image of MURDER (open with death, close with death...)
The amazing COVER REVEAL (and new covers) for Yolanda Renee's MURDER collection!

Flames burn between a hardboiled cop and a gifted artist, but soon extinguish as another man’s obsession ignites into an inferno of desire, driving him to destroy the object of his madness.

As wedding bells echo like the ring of toasting champagne glasses in the ice carved mountains of Anchorage Alaska, detective Steven Quaid rehabs his grandfather’s cabin into a honeymoon cottage for his new bride.

When he returns from a hunting trip, Steven’s faced with five police officers, who “Want to talk.” Plagued by two unsolved murders, the Department is searching for answers.

Steven’s jaw clenches and his heart races. Images of Sarah streak through his mind. The silence breaks as an explosion of accusations vibrate through every fiber of his being. Steven bolts…

This Steven Quaid mystery is both personal and heartbreaking.

Yolanda's first two MURDER novels:





MURDER & OBSESSION, Book Three 
to be released March 10.


60 comments:

Insecurity

6:00 AM Elizabeth Seckman 64 Comments


Insecurity. It's so real, it even has its own Wikipedia page

It's born from fear. 

Fear that you're wasting your time. Fear that you will never reach your goals. Fear that people are laughing at you behind your back about how stupid you are to think someone like you could succeed. 

But take comfort. 


There are plenty of us who feel just as stupid as you do. 

We've just decided, we don't care. 


We'd rather squelch the insecurity and ignore the naysayers rather than give up on a dream. 


Now, go get to work. 

This is an IWSG Post

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time.
Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!

Thanks to our IWSG creator, Alex J. Cavanaugh and this month's co-hosts: Allison Gammons,Tamara Narayan, Eva E. Solar, Rachel Pattison, and Ann V. Friend! 


64 comments:

Winter Love

6:00 AM Elizabeth Seckman 83 Comments


Welcome to the Lost & Found Blog Hop!

For this event, I invited a very special guest...the lady who gave birth to me, my mother! With a credential like that, need I say more?

Welcome, Caroline Hartman Miller!

Hello! I'm glad to be here. Glad to do my daughter's work for her. It reminds me of when she was a teen, and she'd talk me into cleaning her room by telling me I did it best. Of course, I know that's pathetic manipulation, but she is my baby. 

I call my story Winter Love. 


A Hartman gathering.
Just some of my kids and grandkids.

Love comes in seasons. In the spring, you're young and hearts race and passions run high. I married my first husband, Ken, when I was eighteen. We were high school sweethearts. He was an ornery man who took me to hot wire a bulldozer on our first date.  

We enjoyed a wonderful summer. We bought a big two-story house on a quiet street in a small town where we raised our five kids. I have so many wonderful memories of my family in that house. The huge lilac bush out front where we'd take the kids prom pictures was one of my favorite spots. There was also the banister in the living room. The kids used it to slide down, I'd use it to decorate for Christmases year after year. I can still see my kids, as little ones, poking their faces through the spindles taking peeks for Santa. 

It was a good time. A happy time. It was so much fun, it was easy to fool myself into believing those long, light-filled days would never come to an end.  

Lisa, Elizabeth, Cathy, and Dennis
In the fall of our lives, Ken and I said good-bye to our kids as they emptied the nest. Our oldest, Cathy married and moved south. Then went her sister, Lisa, to the Navy and then onto marriage. Same with Ken Jr., he joined the Navy and then took a very circuitous path (that's a mom's polite way of saying he was a turd for several years!)to marriage and kids. Then Dennis went onto the Army and marriage. Lastly, was our baby, Elizabeth, who went onto college and then married the guy I personally picked out for her (you're welcome, Chad). 

Summer was over, but fall has its own beauty. 

Our fall was filled with grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Our house was quiet (and clean!) between their visits, but they'd all return and we'd enjoy holidays, gatherings, and vacations together. 

It was a good time, but winter always comes. No matter how much a body loves a longer day with more sunshine, the shorter, darker days do come. 
Ken, Jr. 

My winter started when I lost my son, Ken, to cancer. Losing a child creates a hole so large, you feel like you can lose yourself in it.But somewhere in that grief, you remember you have other people who are grieving, other people who need you. 

Just as life was settling back into a new pattern, my husband's cancer returned, and he passed away. Ken was more than my husband. He was my best friend. We'd grown up together. We'd suffered the worst loss together. I wasn't sure if I could, or even wanted to do this life alone. I was living in a dark world, driving my kids crazy. I knew I was wearing them out, but no matter how much I tried to talk myself into grabbing some boot straps, I just couldn't. 

My kids tried to pick me up and brush me off, but I felt useless. I knew, if I didn't do something to change my life, I'd lose my kids. Either they'd resent me, or I'd wear out the ones who were trying to help me. 

I was lonely. 

When you've been happily married for 50+ years, you know too well
My first husband, Ken
what you're missing when you suddenly have no companion. No amount of visits from my kids or grandkids was going to replace what I lost. I didn't like being alone. I was used to being part of a team. I explained this to my daughter, Lisa, and she quickly decided I should join eHarmony. I thought she was crazy, but before I knew it, I had men interested. In me! A seventy-five-year-old grandma. 


This fella from Alaska caught my eye. His profile picture was of him with his grandkids. That gave him instant high marks. His answers to the questions on the dating site were direct and funny. More bonus points. There was nothing pretentious about this man. I found a winner!

His name was Frank. We started emailing each other. Then we exchanged phone numbers, and we'd call each other and chat. It felt nice to have someone to talk to. Frank would call me the same time every single day. Pretty soon, I was watching the clock, anxious for the phone to ring. Just hearing the smile in his voice made me feel like a massive weight was lifted from my shoulders. 

Then Frank told me he had to have surgery on his carotid artery. I know from living alone that surgeries are a nuisance. You don't have anyone there to take care of you when you get home. I told Frank I'd come to Alaska and stay with him after the surgery. He liked the idea so well, he asked me if I was willing to come to Alaska, why didn't I just stay there with him, on a permanent basis? 

Well, I told him, I'm not that sort of lady. I wouldn't live with a man unless I was married to him. Frank didn't miss a beat. He is a man of solutions. He promptly suggested we get married. 

It sounded good to me, though my family wasn't quite as keen on the idea as I was. My little brother was so taken aback by the suggestion, he yelled, "I'll not let some stranger take my sister to a foreign country!" Poor guy. He was so upset, he totally forgot his geography lessons. 

Frank wasn't ruffled, though. He was certain he could win my family over. He'd fly to West Virginia in June, meet my family, and then we'd get married. 

Then I mentioned one more problem. My one-eyed dog, Jack. Who would take care of him if I left? Chad and Elizabeth bought him for me after Ken died, and the crazy mutt had been my loyal companion ever since. 


Jack didn't like me to leave him, even for a day.
He went through the screen of an open window and waited until I got home from a doctor's appointment. 

Frank said he'd build him a fence around his yard. Jack would be his crazy mutt too. 

Frank and Caroline Miller
Winter time love birds
The night before I met Frank, he warned me he wasn't an attractive man. I warned him I was fat. Suddenly, I was nervous. What if he stepped off that plane, and I did think he was ugly? What if he saw me and wanted to run the other way?

The time arrived. Elizabeth and her son, Cole, drove me to the airport, and we went to the gate and waited. In a few short minutes, Frank was there. 

Far from ugly, he was a handsome man with a fine laugh. He gave me a kiss, and it didn't feel like kissing a stranger. I was kissing my friend. We married two weeks later, and Jack and I moved to Alaska with him. 

We'll be married two years this June. In those two years, we've had good times camping and fishing, and we've had rough times. At our age, health issues come up quickly and have a way of slowing down our fun. But no matter what happens, we face it together.

I know what it's like to be alone. At one time, I felt like there was no light left in the world. I was sure I had nothing to look forward to, but I was wrong. There is light. But when it's winter, the days are shorter and shorter,and you have to learn not to waste a single moment. Frank and I understand time is precious. Every day is a new adventure with my friend, my support, my winter love. 


Thanks to Arlee Bird and Guilie Castillo-Oriard for coming up with this blog event. And special thanks to the co-hosts, Yolanda Renee,  Denise Covey.  and the ever romantic Alex J Cavanaugh.   Check out other stories of love lost: 




83 comments:

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