Nothing Better to Do
|Cole, Caleb, Conner, and Carter|
These are my boys. Each sporting their state championship football rings.
All four of them have one. Two from 2010. Two from 2015.
And as you can see, all four of them are handsome (disagree and I'll fight you). They're also intelligent, well-behaved (enough to stay out of big trouble), and thoughtful (well, there was the time I was given the animal skull for Mother's Day...).
But generally speaking, they are awesome.
So awesome that I have been asked several times this week-
How did my husband and I raise such good kids?
Could it be our superior training in child development and enhanced parenting skills?
I'd say sure, but I'd be a liar.
Raising genius kids can be freaking hard work. There is nothing tougher than pairing puberty hormones with a mind that can run logic circles around you in a debate. On one occasion, I was caught in an argument with boy #1 and was quickly losing ground, so I flipped him off.
Yep. Flipped him the bird. The middle finger. The not-nice one.
Shocked, he yelled back, "Nice parenting, Mom."
To which, I replied, "Hey, sometimes, that's all I've got."
Perhaps it was our non-violent approach to discipline. I'm not a spanker.
And I'm also about as friendly as a momma bear around her cubs, so my husband never got to be a spanker either.
But then, there was that time...
Two of my boys got into a shoving match in the hallway. It was quickly escalating into what I feared was going to be fisticuffs. By the age of twelve, every one of my boys was taller than me, so I was completely unable to physically break up this little cage match.
In a panic, I screamed (a blood curdling, carries-right-out-of-our-house-into-the-neighbor's-house sort of wail), "You will NOT fight your brother. If I have to get a freaking ball bat and bust you both upside the head, I will do it."
(For the record, I did not ever have to use the ball bat.)
But still, there goes my award for sweet, peaceful mom of the year.
Maybe it's because our house runs so smoothly...
Dear God, I almost couldn't type that line without laughing.
Truth is, we have too many animals, too much clutter, and we can never find what we need without it being some sort of treasure hunt. I've sent my kids to school with lunches that I forgot to add the food to. I've forgotten plenty of deadlines, promises, and dates to remember. And they know pick-up times are flexible.
Once, I totally missed the school reading award ceremony. My little boy left for school so proud of himself for winning. He reminded me before he left that I was supposed to come to the school and watch it.
I totally forgot. Then, to really make by-the-book-parents cringe, once I realized my screw up, I took my little guy to Wal Mart to bribe him with a toy. I even had the presence of mind to get him to sign a waiver that he was content and happy with the bribe and would not hold my absence against me in the future.
I still have that somewhere in case I need to defend myself to his therapist.
Speaking of therapy...
All the crap my kids caught me doing wrong...I'd tell them I did that intentionally so they had something to tell their therapist in later life. I am as smooth as the best political spin-doctor.
It goes like this:
Kid: That's not fair.
Mom: Be sure to log that for your therapist; you'll need something to blame me for later.
See? Far from perfect mom material.
The more I think about it, the only thing I can say for certain we did right is that we never had anything more important on our agenda than our kids.
Thanks to our hosts Lexa, L.G, and Tonja Drecker for this weekly good things check in!
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The Thing that Turned me has a release date!
Kudos to Randi Lee. She is working so hard on this anthology. I'm so lucky to be part of this wonderful effort.