AWIF...Kiss My Butt Hilary!

8:00 AM Elizabeth Seckman 39 Comments

 Carter, Caleb, Cole, and Conner...my babies. 

All Write...It's Friday...is supposed to be about writing.

And it is. Sort of.

But since I have a VERY strong opinion about kids. And the duty of raising them. And after Hilary Rosin threw the dis at Ann Romney, I just had to chime in.

See those guys up there? Yep, that great big picture up there, front and center? Those are my babies. They are my masterpieces.

 If I drop dead right now...echhh...don't worry, still here...scared ya, huh?

Anyhow if I did NOTHING else in this life besides raise those handsome young men, then I croak accomplished.

Now Hilary's insult to Ann about 'never working a day in her life' hit me in the gut.

If I had a nickel (let's say quarter... considering inflation and all) for every time I was treated like I was somehow undermining the entire women's movement and making myself a second class female by opting to stay home with my kids...wow...I wouldn't be worried about college tuition right now.

And I'd be lying if I said the pokes and the comments from people like Hilary don't sting. There were many times I wanted to run back to work just to be able to say...I work at such and such, so I DO matter!

But I stayed home. Even after...gasp...the youngest went to kindergarten.

It was a choice I made. A choice I don't regret. I have good boys. I could brag right now about their rewards and accomplishments...but it'd take too long and you'd think I was lying ;-)

(Now don't get all excited and start asking me for loans thinking I'm part of the 1% income earners. My family missed my income (though I was a social worker, so really, it wasn't a HUGE loss), but we did without many, many things. My husband's car is a 1994 Nissan Sentra that's pretty much held together by duct tape and tie straps; the value of the gas in its tank is higher than its blue book value.)

I've never understood why, as women, we have to separate ourselves...when really we're all just doing what is best for OUR families.

For some moms, it's to go to work. For others, it's to stay home.

The bottom line...the best parent is a happy, contented parent.

Now...what's this got to do with writing?

MOMENT of TRUTH:  I thought telling people I was a stay-at-home, bon bon eating, soap opera watching trophy wife got eye rolls...you should see the look on their faces when I say I'm a writer!!!



39 comments:

  1. One of the BEST articles I have read in a LONG time! Being a MOM is the best job--and you excel!!

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    1. Double thanks! It's a job best done on an individual plan...no one guide quite fits every house.

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  2. What a wonderful picture! Your boys look great.

    I always have to swallow, when I say I'm a housewife. Its not socially acceptable, I guess. And people's mouths drop, when they find out I have a college degree - as if it's a sin to be an educated housewife/mother.

    But where would the world be without moms? Especially, writer ones. :)

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    1. I hear ya lady! I must say, for the most part, people are cool and supportive. Then there are the few who are outright obnoxious...had one former friend ask me if my brain had turned to Jell-O yet.
      A common comment I found insulting (though not meant to be I suppose) was the 'it must be nice'. To me, that just sounded very, 'go on back to your castle Cinderella and leave the real world to us'.
      *Now that comment should not be confused with those people who would sincerely say, 'I would love to be able to stay home, but I can't'...for those ladies, I will gladly add your child to my car pool and feed him on snow days.

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  3. lol.. no kidding! My BF and I were just having this discussion. She's a stay at home mom and I work PT from home, so am divided evenly. But we have other girlfriends who love to dis home mom's cuz they don't have any clue what its like to juggle both... and it IS hard, but its also hard managing a house and family without feeling underappreciated... so it's a double edged sword so to speak. I get to experience both sides, and both are hard... but being a home mom should never be considered anything but a prestigious job. I wish I could do it!!

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    1. I did the part time from home, you brave woman. A conference call with a probation officer and my four year old made me decide something had to give.

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  4. I heard this on the news this morning. Stay at home moms are so important and undervalued. I work because I have to. There is no choice for me at this time. But I respect any woman that stays home and the ones that have to go to work. Every job is tough.

    Oh and the writer eye rolls, I can only imagine.

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    1. I agree. Here's to hitting the lottery and all of us getting to live whatever dream we dare to dream!

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  5. As a stay-at-home mom, I'm not even offended. I've heard it all, and it's all rubbish. Women who feel they need to leave the home to compete in a "man's world" are met with the same eye rolls we are. We're damned if we do, damned if we don't. There is no peaceful side to the argument. Mothers and wives need to do what works best for them. The world's perspective is always changing, so a woman must know her own value and her place in the lives of those she loves so she isn't swayed by the ever-changing opinions of others. I know my worth. I am a stay-at-home mom and a writer. I am very blessed. Who cares what other people think?

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    1. Emily. You're too mature for this argument. When I grow up, I want to be just like you. :)
      Seriously though~ you are absolutely right. No one can offend you when you are confident in who you are. Love the life you live and stop worrying what other people think.

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    2. You caught me on a good day. Sometimes I want to flip them all off and tell them to kiss my you-know-what. I've gotten better. :D

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    3. LOL! I get what you're saying. And funny how when I'm not alone in my offense, it no longer seems to matter. I guess venting does help. :)

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    1. Kind of like Team Edward vs. Team Jacob?
      It all DEPENDS...lol...I'm still so dang PUNNY!!!!!

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  7. Much respect to stay at home moms. I'm a single female and think women should do more to unite. Telling people that their career makes them worthy is crap. Crap that makes some people get stressed and depressed. We need to unite on what matters and that's doing the right thing. Not having the best things. Get it?

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    1. Yay Sheena! You get exactly what I'm saying! Women shouldn't be nit picking at each other. I'm not bad mouthing moms who work either. Some moms have careers they find very fulfilling; some have to work; and some might just want a break. It's all about choices. And respecting each other.

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  8. We drive old cars, and eat our share of things like pancakes for dinner when we're nearing the end of the month, but i wouldn't trade being home for my kids for ANYTHING.

    FAB post.

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  9. Thanks Jolene. Though I must admit, my teens beg me to go to work...they REALLY want to upgrade those old cars!

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  10. Good for you. I stay at home too, with four kids. The best thing I will ever do. Your boys are adorable!

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  11. I can imagine the looks you've gotten. Your boys are lovely. I think that being a mom has been the most important and hardest job I've ever done.

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    1. I couldn't agree more. No matter where we clock our time, being a mom is the best (and sometimes toughest)thing we'll ever do. And thanks, I think they're just adorable too.

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  12. Thank you, m'dear. Thank you! I hope that ol' Hilary is seeing all the flak she's caught from this.

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    1. I almost feel sorry for her! I 100% support her right to say whatever stupid things she wants to say. I like to say stupid things now and then myself.

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    2. Oh my gosh, me too! I just hope I don't ever say anything stupid publicly. Only a matter of time though, with how much I'm addicted to Facebook. ;D

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    3. Same here. I plan to blame pain meds...even though I don't take any.

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  13. I stayed at home with my girls too. I'm always amused when people tell me how 'lucky' I am that my girls are so well-behaved, as though I had nothing to do with it. I think everyone should do what's right for them and their families. I hate that it's become an either/or argument.

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    1. I couldn't agree more! They're shouldn't be an argument about it. I have to admit, my kids are rotten; but they fake good manners when they're out of the house and that's all I can ask for. Just joking, I do have really good kids. My senior is about to graduate as Valedictorian and he worked hard and opted out of having a lot of fun through high school to get himself there.

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  14. I couldn't agree more. There are so many other things that need debated, this just seems petty to argue over.

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  15. AMEN!!! Wow. I can't believe people still dare say this kind of nonsense on TV. My favorite thing about it was the NOT apology to Ann Romney afterwards. If you have never raised children you have no idea how much work it is. Shame on you Hilary!

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    1. I've decided they should keep talking...then we know what they're really thinking. And yes, I found the apology to be most insincere.

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  16. I totally respect every woman who stays at home, but for me, I know I needed to work. I would have become very low and made a much worse mother if I'd stayed at home. I too have no regrets.

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    1. And that's how it should be. Like I said, the best mom's are happy moms. Working moms shouldn't be made to feel guilty and stay at home moms shouldn't be made to feel useless. It's all about respect.

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  17. Hilary Rosen stuck her foot in her mouth, but good. Whether she truly believes that all stay-at-home moms are not "working" moms is debatable. But after her comments about Ann Romney, I have to wonder if perhaps she at the very least is harboring some latent hostility regarding her financial status.

    Jealousy serves no one, from either side of the fence. If only those who are casting the stones could see past their own fears and disillusionment to the sacrifices that are made on all sides.

    It is so good to hear voices like my own. Like Emily, I have my good days, my pity party days and yes, my you-can-stick-it-here days! But I do try to always maintain my perspective. And fortunately for me, I am not in the public's eye! *g*

    After all, perspective is what allows me on a daily basis to know WE (both parents in this equation) have made the best choice we could for OUR family. Raising kids is hard work, whether a family has more or less in the bank than any other.

    Heated topic, Elizabeth! *g*
    Lots of emotion wrapped up in it.

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    1. You're right, jealousy will get you nowhere. And I've done both. I've worked and I've not worked. Both had their advantages and disadvantages. But I will say, from my experiences, the snide remarks toward those who stay home is very unfair. I heard plenty of it; I guess that's why I am sensitive to it.

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  18. So, I am not a mother...yet. :) But my mother stayed home with my sister and I. I remember her getting these comments from other woman. Ironic part is SHE was the one driving their kids to practices and letting everyone come over to our house on the days we didn't have school...

    I'm not sure what I will do when I have kids. I worked super hard to get my degree, and the honest truth is I probably will make more than my hubby (I'm an engineer with a super well paying job.) So we shall see...

    But like you said, we all have to do what's best for our family. My hope would be that my writing career will take off and then I'll be able to work and stay home too...

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    1. Three cheers for your mom! She raised a wonderful daughter and that is a tribute to her. :)
      Don't worry about your future. I have no doubt that you will make the best decision for your family, no matter what that may be.

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  19. Uh, I think the hardest job in the world is being a Mom, and I cannot imagine what being a stay at home mom is like. It's the hardest job in the world--well, I think so cause I have no patience for kids. Someday, maybe, but right now--no. Lol. I look up to my Mom for being a stay at home mother...I don't know how she took care of twins! :o

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    1. Ah twins! I always wanted twins, but then my brother had them and I saw what work they were. They were beautiful, but I think he and his wife went a couple of years without sleep!

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