Trending 48 Minutes Ago...

10:29 AM Elizabeth Seckman 0 Comments

I often wonder where all my time goes…sit down at the keyboard to check email, bam nearly an hour has passed. What gives? Does it really take me that long to delete all that spam? Not really. The biggest problem is the Trending Now column by my Yahoo inbox…that top 10 list of what everybody is googling at 9:32 am on this Monday morning. 

Each time I log on I’m unable to ignore that list…unable to ignore the curiosity that tiny snapshot of pop culture inspires.  And of course, I just can’t read it…I’ve got to consider each one like so:
Trending at 9:38 am….bbbrrrmmmm (that’s a drum roll)

1.       Kris Humphries.
This one made me feel immediately OLD. First thought was Kris who? After a google, I was like, oh him…Kim Kardashian’s 30 second husband. Hmm, they shoulda spent as much time on the relationship as they did planning the ceremony and maybe it woulda lasted a year…maybe. Ever think people give more thought to the party planning than the marriage? Geesh…kids these days…yep, I’m becoming a geezer.

2.       Buble on Kardashian
Who’s Buble and do I care enough to click a link? No…not really…oh what the heck. Click. He’s a singer. A singer named Buble? I no longer care. Sounds like the kind of guy my mom thinks is cool. I imagine him and Englebert Humperdink as the headliners at a Vegas hotel that also offers a free buffet and ten free coins for the slots if you’re over 65. NEXT…

3.        James Earl Jones
The voice of Darth Vadar is always cool. Better click and make sure he’s healthy. Yay! He’s getting an award….and he used to stutter…who would have ever guessed?

4.       Vampire babies
Shocked this isn’t #1. My family already had this debate after seeing the Twilight commercial. How can a vampire sire a baby when they’re already dead? Final conclusion, vampires aren’t real therefore they don’t have to adhere to the laws of nature. Duh.

5.       Oprah
Hmmm…pass. I have things I’ve got to get done and honestly, Oprah is like one of those really good friends that you used to just love, but then start to feel like she just doesn’t ‘get you’ anymore. Makes you just a little sad, so let’s just move on…

6.       Jack and Jill
Can’t wait to see! Love Adam Sandler! He’s like that friend who you hear is coming to the party so you go, even though you’re tired and don’t even feel like getting dressed. But you gotta go! Cause you know something worth laughing over for years to come is going to happen.

7.       Pippa
Seems poor Pippa got dumped. Boyfriend says she’s not wife material. Honestly, she ought to consider that a high compliment. What is ‘wife material’? You love someone or you don’t. Oh, well, I doubt the new sister in law of the Prince of Wales really gives a rat’s hiney what some cricket playing loser thinks.

8.       Breaking Dawn
If only…

9.       Penn State
Oh my…that could take all day…disgusting…sad…hope the guilty pay and the innocent are protected. Nothing funny in that.

10.   HIV
Odd thing to be trending…maybe there’s a cure…click to check…sigh…nope.

Soooo, those are the Trends. I’ve checked them all out and suddenly it’s after 10:00. Instead of admitting I wasted my time, I called it research, wrote the blog and saved you the clicking time. :)  You may thank me in chocolate.


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