I'm the One Who's Human

1:22 PM Elizabeth Seckman 4 Comments

I plan to go to Heaven even though I say sh*t.

Let me explain.

Thirty years ago in my pre-teen youth I learned about the rapture. It was during a weekend youth retreat at my church. My friends and I watched a movie, a precursor to the “Left Behind” series with Kirk Cameron.  I remember the movie like it was yesterday…a little girl carrying home a stick of butter to her mom…boom, gone in the blink of an eye. The stick of butter lay melting on the hot summer sidewalk. Cut to the mom’s blender running unmanned in the bowl; mom was gone too. Left to suffer the Tribulation, or the last brutal days on earth, were all the non-believers. One was even a minster! GASP. 

Yeah, I had a few nightmares. But still, the movie motivated me. It made want to be ‘in’ with the ‘in crowd’ worse than a Paris Hilton wanna be needs in past the velvet ropes of a booze bash. I tried the perfect behavior route. Daily fail. Tried the fix the world route. Couldn’t curb the desire to slap some people. 

Then one day, a friend asked me, “Have you ever thought, what if today was THE DAY Jesus came back?”

Have I?! Oh trust me, I’ve spent  hours on that worry. Especially since I fail at holy rightness at every turn!  I mean, if I need to be a stain free saint to get into Heaven? Well then, I am SOL.

But then it occurred to me…

At the velvet ropes of the Pearly Gates Club, I’m not getting in because I’m the prettiest, the best behaved, or the most philanthropic soul. I’m getting in to that party, the one that truly is TO DIE FOR, because I have a friend in management. 

Now, I do occasionally slip and say sh*t, sometimes even holy sh*t, and I’m not proud of that, but I no longer lose sleep over it. The way I figure it, He’s a real cool guy who understands me. He knows I’d never abuse a friend, not even a celestial one. He knows I’d never  bad mouth Him or his Father… I’d  never pretend I didn’t know  who He is just to look like the cool girl at the party… I’d never strike Him off my earthly party guest list…and I do my best to be kind to His other peeps.

Because in the end, I know my mom was right…best way to have a friend is to be a friend. And Jesus is my friend, and fortunately He understands I make mistakes and He forgives me because He knows… I’m the one who’s human.