Missing You, A Follow Up

3:43 PM Elizabeth Seckman 27 Comments

For last week's IWSG post, the question was to name someone we miss in our writer life. I immediately thought of other writers and bloggers who have come and gone. Then as I was making my reading rounds, so many mentioned their moms that I started to feel bad. My mom was always my biggest fan and supporter. So much so that I'd get annoyed with her. Seriously, I am a lazy, contented creature of habit. If my mother hadn't pushed, I'd still be writing stories in notebooks. And then when asked, I never even mentioned her, which is totally like me. My mom was always my given.

Kinda like when someone says...if you're going to be stranded on an island, what would you bring? I'd never say Oxygen because Oxygen is the given. That's my mom's place in my life. She was always my given.

Age 12, she bought me a typewriter from a flea market

Ages 12-17, she was the keeper of my poems, short stories, and two page "novels". She bought me a subscription to Writer's Digest and encouraged me to enter into competitions, which I never did. I didn't like to share anything I wrote with anyone other than my mom

Age 18 she expressed her annoyance that I switched my major from Journalism to Business Administration. Agreed the switch to Counseling was a good fit. Upgraded me to an electric typewriter.

Age 20 Bought me a word processing typewriter.

Ages 21-30 Accepted a pause for marriage and grandkids, because the only thing my mom loved more than books was family.

Age 31 Suggested rather than returning to my day job, I should try my hand at writing and commenced to buying submission guides, how-to books, and began stalking book signings for writing and publishing tips.

Age 30-40 I wrote. She read. She was always honest, sometimes too honest, offering plenty one-star critiques such as "this sucks"...What sucks about it? "Everything. Start over." But then there would also be the very wise advice like, stay away from cliched characters. The mother-in-law doesn't always have to be the bad guy. Make the bad guy do some good and the good guy do some bad. Write honestly and forget worrying about what the world thinks. And the very best ever mom writer advice that I will one day hang on my wall...stop trying to impress me with how well you can write and just tell me a damn good story.

Post 40 she nagged at me to get a book published before she died so she could see it. Which I did.

Post publication, my mother handed out business cards, harassed local librarians and book store owners. She was also really good at coming up with really ridiculous marketing plans, my favorite being: Get Oprah to read and recommend your book. And if that fails, win the Rita (the RWA's yearly award).

"Sure," I said. I'll get right on that."

I miss her boundless ability to dream. She always thought big. I tend to think small. I also miss her optimism. She never once doubted that I could, she just worried whether or not I ever would.

*My mom collected elephants and there were seven of us in my family of origin. Elephants are loyal, loving, and tenacious, perfectly representing my mom. This photo is courtesy of cocoparisienne from Pixabay.