Saying Good Bye

Caroline Rose Hartman, AKA Mom. 

On March 13^th, my mom died in her sleep. I’ve been doing all right…trying to honor her memory and take care of things in a way that would make her happy. I donated her clothes to the nursing home she stayed in and the rest of her “stuff” to a charity that raises money for cancer patients.

I have also tried to make a pointed effort to see the bright side—no more pain, no more illness, no more unhappiness…

You see, my mom wasn’t always cheerful. She was a generous lady with a big heart, but she was also one of the most insecure human beings I have ever met.

Here at the IWSG, we admit to our insecurities and face them square in the face.

my mom and I at the beach

My mom spent a lifetime trying to hide from hers.

I suppose, somewhere deep in her psyche was the belief that she was only loved if she was perfect.

My dad once told me I could never fully understand my mother. I was raised without any rejection. No matter what I did or didn’t do…my mom loved me.  

To my mom, her kids were perfect.

I used to joke that if her offspring ended up in prison, mom would brag that we ran the entire cell block. I predicted she’d stop people in the grocery store and show them our mug shots and brag— “That’s the Hartman Gang…if you want to get someone shanked, my kids can get it done.”

My mother hated that joke.

She swore she kept high standards for her kids.

But she didn’t. We all screwed up; she defended us.

Mom didn’t always get that from her family.

I know she always felt like the least pretty, least successful member of her clan.

My mother wasn’t a simple character who could be explained in a single post. I will simply say, she was always a mom, and I am who I am because I was blessed to have her raise me. 

Join the IWSG Here!

Thanks to our leader, Alex Cavanaugh and his awesome co-hosts for the April edition of the IWSG  Christopher D. Votey, Madeline Mora-Summonte, Fundy Blue, and Chrys Fey!

Now, onto this week's good thing check-in!!

Thanks to our hosts Lexa, L.G, and Tonja Drecker for this weekly good things check in! 

I have a new great nephew!

Rogan Lance Hartman joined the world, weighing in at
8 pounds 3 ounces. He's a gorgeous little guy!
Huge congrats to my nephew, Ryan and his wife, Danielle!

It's coming!! And to celebrate, I've asked contributors to chime in with their best/worst movie picks-- in honor of our ninja leader, of course!

This week, Erika Beebe is sharing her picks. 

Hero Lost

Mysteries of Death and Life

An Insecure Writer’s Support Group Anthology

Release date: May 2, 2017

Favorite All-time Movie?

Cinderella’s motive has always made sense to me. So when Ever After came out, and Drew Barrymore stepped up to play my favorite fairy tale princess, I was all in. I watch it every chance I can when life seems heavy and I need to sigh and catch my breath.

Current Worst Movie?

The Sea of Trees. The cinematography was great. The character themes seemed real.  The trailer though, seemed very misleading.  When I sat down to watch the movie, it didn’t seem quite so serene and meditative in the same sense I was picturing in my mind. Just the opposite actually, with crazy unbelievable twists. In the movie’s defense though, I turn lots of movies off when that one horrifying scene emerges—the “I’m going to take your life away,” scene and there’s nothing you can say or do about it. Yeah. One outcome. The end.