When I was pregnant for boy #3, we found out via ultrasound that we had another boy on the way.
When we announced another baby boy was in our future, people actually had the gall to offer me condolences.
In no time, I was sick of the well-meaning comment, "Maybe you'll get a girl next time."
Uh, thanks?
I felt bad for my little male fetus.
Where was the appreciation? The love?
I mean, I wasn't expecting fanfare, but I was carrying a healthy baby boy, not the plague.
One day, I ran into an elderly lady in the grocery store and she asked, "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"
With an eye roll and a sigh, I said, "A boy. It's the third boy...maybe next one will be a girl."
God bless her, she patted my arm and said, "Well honey, I have four boys. So, I say, if you're lucky, your next one will be a boy too."
I confessed to her that I was sick of the pink obsession.
Like somehow, I was less of a woman because I hadn't give birth to a mini-me.
She assured me I'd be fine. I was blessed beyond belief...in a way that only mothers without daughters understand.
*********************
My cousin's daughter, Missi, just had her her third son, Greyson.
After giving birth, Missi started having headaches and seizures. Things went from bad to worse, and she ended up in ICU with a date with the neurosurgeon for brain surgery.
She's home today with her boys. Feeling grateful, surrounded by love.
A lucky mommy in more ways than one.
She's home today with her boys. Feeling grateful, surrounded by love.
A lucky mommy in more ways than one.
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| "Just when you think you can't be blessed anymore...your AWESOME nurses come to your room and say, "We are sending you home!" I'm overwhelmed. To top it off, I signed my OWN NAME when being discharged this evening. I am currently heading HOME TO MY BOYS with my husband while praising God on the radio! This girl knows the words!! This is just the beginning of my incredible testimony. Thank you all for praying and thinking about us! Our God is awesome. This is just the beginning. God saves lives!" ~Melissa Smith~ |
What a blessing Missi is home now!
ReplyDeleteThere were no girls in our family. My mother's brother also had two boys. My brother had two boys. Hey, the family name will go on, so that's a plus.
My former neighbor's husband's family had been all male for, I believe, four generations? She had three sons, so she was also a great support in my "no girl" dilemma. And the idea that boys don't take care of their mothers is hogwash. Millie's boys doted on her.
Deleteprayers and hugs to Missi
ReplyDeleteThanks Mac :)
DeleteI had two boys before my daughter was born so I know how you must have felt like.
ReplyDeleteHave a great week-end.
Yvonne.
Once they're born, you know it doesn't matter. They're each they're own unique personality- that's the best part.
DeleteMissi is one lucky mummy, and you are all blessed by the sounds of it. :)
ReplyDeleteshahwharton.com
When you consider what other people have to deal with conception-wise and in birth, it seems silly to worry over something like the sex.
DeleteMom, who grew up with five sisters and a brother and who had four boys (three with Dad and one with her second husband), always said boys were easier to raise. I think people believe that the parents of more than two boys are trying for a girl each time they're expecting. Why, I don't know...
ReplyDeletePersonally, I am partial to boys, but I may be biased.
DeletePeople can be well-meaning, and fail miserably at it... as you well know. As someone who hasn't had any kids of my own, raised my ex's for three years up close, and from a distance after that. Well, my experience is limited. He has a boy and a girl. When they were younger, the girl was easier. Now that they are teenagers, the boy is OMGoodness so much easier. She's a teenage nightmare. So, I think that overall I'd say boys are easier. In any case, you don't get a choice about these things. God gives you the children you are meant to have, and that's it. Once you decide that healthy is a blessing, it's all easier after that... :)
ReplyDeleteAmen! God does decide and His good wisdom is without fail.He gives us exactly what we're meant to have. When we were debating having the 4th child (I like even numbers...is that OCD or what?), I assumed it would be a boy- I wanted to make sure I wasn't just falling into the pink trap subconsciously.
DeletePeople sure have a thing with not having both, idiots. Missi home with her boys is a blessing indeed.
ReplyDeleteWe do get ideas of what perfect should be and become obsessed. My brother had four girls before having a boy and he said he almost wished baby #5 was a girl too so people wouldn't say, "You finally got your boy." He didn't want his girls to think they just failed attempts at a boy.
DeleteI'm the mom of boys. I only had two, but I got a badge anyway. :-)
ReplyDeleteOne is enough to wear the badge :)
DeleteThank goodness Missy is okay. I winced seeing those stitches but they helped save her so yay. A child is a child is a child. People need to stop this baby boy vs girl foolishness. They're babies! Many blessings Liz.
ReplyDeleteAren't those awful. The whole time she was in the hospital, it broke my heart. She is such a loving, attentive mommy, I knew not being with her newborn baby had to be breaking her heart. It's so not how things are supposed to go!
DeleteIt shouldn't matter if it's a boy or a girl. All that counts is that it's a healthy child. I have one of each so I can say both are wonderful in their own ways. What a scary story about Missi. Glad she was able to go home and be with her family.
ReplyDeleteI agree. And honestly, we could have a hundred kids, and each one is still not like the other. It's not like all boys or girls are the same. I have four boys, and each is unique. Appreciate each soul...that's what matters most.
DeleteSo glad Missi is home and well. What a horrific experience!
ReplyDeleteI have two boys and wouldn't trade them for the world, but to be honest I was certain, based on others assessments that they were both girls, and had girls names picked out before the boys names. Neither of them like the girls name chosen. LOL We are blessed!
I thought for sure my first was a girl. I was like you, girl names were chosen and girl clothes purchased. But when he was born, I couldn't imagine a baby more perfect. I decided then that God was the better chooser of those things.
DeleteGlad Missi is home!
ReplyDeleteThat's such a weird way for people to act! Shouldn't they just be happy for you? I remember my mom saying that when she was pregnant with my people would say, "oh, you're going to have a boy" since she'd already had a girl. But she knew better :)
I don't know why people say the things they do. Now, I'm not talking about people guessing the sex- that's just fun. But some people would actually act like I should send the baby back and try again. Or worse? My poor friends who either chose NOT to have kids or were having fertility problems they were not wanting to share publicly. I don't know why people (I'll give mothers and grandmothers a pass, hehe) think telling a person to have kids is any of their business.
DeleteGlad Missi is home. I would be delighted with your four boys Liz. I know you are. What, in fact, does it matter what sex your child is? It is still a product of your love for one another.
ReplyDeleteExactly. And all children develop their own personalities, be they a boy or a girl. Sometimes I think the people with the hang-ups also have preconceived notions of what their child should be. And if people think their child will be this or that just because they want it, they are in for a rude awakening!!
DeleteGlad Missi is recovering. I had the whole 'are you hoping for a girl?' thing with my second pregnancy. I was hoping for another boy, though, and happily told people that :-)
ReplyDeleteMy fourth boy, I knew the sex the whole time and told no one because I assumed once he was born, no one would be rude enough to voice disappointment. Sadly, I was wrong. A very few people, fortunately.
DeleteI know a few people with all boys. And as you know they are a handful when they're young. I had one boy and 4 girls. I wanted another boy in the worst way. He was a spitfire when he was younger, but he's grown into a wonderful man!! Sad and happy for Missi. Hope she continues on the road to recovery!!!!
ReplyDeleteI always say I am a boy junkie, so I wish you'd had another boy too. ;)
DeleteGirls are awesome too. I have nieces that are as special to me as daughters. Keep your heart open and it will be filled!
I'm so happy to hear that Missi made it through and is home with her family. Greyson is such a romantic name! I think you're a terrific mom, whether to girls or boys! Have a lovely weekend! :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, if they'd have been born girls, I'd have kept them. LOL.
DeleteThat is a great name, isn't it? And he is a cutie. I'd have posted a picture of him, but I didn't want to without his mom's approval, and I didn't want to bug her. She's had enough time away from her babies!
Lord help us all! Can people just keep their noses out of other women's uteruses? I have an assignment right now to write about how sick I am of people asking me if I'm "afraid I'll die alone" because I don't have kids. If you don't have kids, people have something to say about it. If you have one, two, or three kids, they have something to say about it. If you have four or more, they get all up in your "why did you have so many kids?" business. People are just...UGH!
ReplyDeleteYou poor woman. I think the pressure they put on childless women is ridiculous. I worked with a woman who just didn't want kids. She was approaching 50 and never felt the urge, so she was getting her tubes tied. People flipped out on her. If a person doesn't want to have children, isn't it better that she doesn't? Trust me, lots of people have them just to have them, and that's the tragedy.
DeleteAnd then there are people with private reasons for not having children, and it's hurtful to them to have the baby debate.
My husband's aunt has no biological children, but she's so loved, the idea that she would ever die alone is simply absurd.
Great news about Missi.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, it doesn't matter if a baby is a boy or girl. If I was to be a parent my checklist would include: healthy and happy.
Exactly. And happy and healthy is never a guarantee, so appreciate that blessing!!
DeleteI'm so happy for Missi!
ReplyDeleteI know of a family who is similar to yours, where they ended up with 4 boys. I think they were pretty happy just to have all the kids grow up healthy too. :)
By baby #4, I was torn. I thought a girl would be nice for my husband to get some support, but thought I'd be ruining a great streak of perfect boys.
DeleteMidterm spotting put everything in perspective. I just wanted my baby healthy. Weeks of bed rest and caution for my little boy left me a bit rabid in my defense, and probably why I am still carrying that baggage. LOL
Boy baby or girl baby? I remember after each delivery feeling so in love. It really didn't matter to me. When one goes through an ordeal like Missi did, I would imagine that you are grateful for every little thing.
ReplyDeleteYou hit the nail on the head there. Just like she said in her post, even signing her own name again wasn't a guarantee. She knows better than anyone what real problems are.
DeleteEvery baby is a gift. I didn't really wish for either a boy or a girl. But I was blessed a daughter. Seems like a life-time ago. She's 24 now. I'm a very proud mamma!! God Bless, Missi.
ReplyDeleteThey really, truly are, and I fully believe we get exactly what we need to be happy...as long as we appreciate the gift.
DeleteCheers to Missi pulling through! And frankly, I just think most people don't know how to interact with someone who's pregnant, period. Strangers rub your belly and ask you all kinds of intrusive questions about it and give you unwarranted parenting advice. And these are the same people that probably find it too awkward to hug their own kids and tell them to their faces they love them. Makes no sense.
ReplyDeleteDon't even get me started on belly rubbers. Or people who want to watch the birth. I'm one of those uptight sorts- if you don't have a medical degree and weren't there for the conception, I didn't want you there for the birth. A lot of people thought I was weird for that. But I'm good with being weird.
Delete