TP Mule and Insecurity

"ZZ Top Live" by Craig ONeal
- Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 via Commons - Wikipedia Photo Credit

The year was 1983 and my best friend, Kelli, and I scored (asked our moms to stop at Radio Shack) ZZ Top tickets.

When we got to the concert, we sat and watched the roadies set up. Our seats were good, but not the best.

To be front and center, you had navigate general seating on a standing room only, first come, first serve basis.

The opening act was Jimmy Barnes. We'd never heard of him (no offense, Jimmy), and I'd venture a guess that not too many people in the Ohio Valley had either, because the arena floor was pretty sparse. Kelli and I decided we could ditch our decent seats for the front row. We were small and nimble, ducking and dodging drunks and stoners until we arrived.

I swear, we could see Jimmy sweat.

We were front row.

Then Jimmy left. The lights dimmed and ZZ Top pealed off a couple of chords. The place went nuts. An entire arena of sweaty drunks pressed against us. There was a metal bar separating us from the stage, and we were being pinned against it. I could barely breathe and panic started to strike.

Suddenly, I remembered why my mother refused to buy a general admission ticket- the Who concert of 1979- where eleven people were trampled to death outside the arena.

I imagined my mother adding "I told you so" to my tombstone.

Fortunately, the squeeze didn't last long. Our nimble size didn't go unnoticed by the larger fans. We were lifted from our prime location and passed back several rows. Sure it sucked to get manhandled, but boy was it great to be able to breathe.

Fed up with the chaos, we went in search of our assigned seats. They were filled.

We never thought to go to security and demand our seats back. Honestly? We were drama'ed out. We mosied on out of  the concert where we stumbled upon a hairy ZZ Top wannabe taking a crap in the ladies' room with the stall door wide open. The dude wasn't at all embarrassed. As a matter of fact, he asked in a voice so loud it ricocheted off the concrete walls, "Hey ladies, can you fetch me some toilet paper? I had to take a sh*t."

Epic life moment, right?

So, what's the insecurity lesson in that?

Our fragile ego says if we're not up front, we're not there.

But really, everywhere is there, if you are wise enough to appreciate it.

And had I been content and stayed seated, I could have told you how awesome the concert was- instead of how I was once a teenage TP mule for a hairy guy too stoned to tell the men's room from the women's.

Thanks to Alex and this month's awesome co-hosts: L.G. Keltner, Denise Covey, Sheri Larsen, J.Q. Rose, Chemist Ken, and Michelle Wallace! The IWSG is the place to share all those pesky insecurities and fears. Join us HERE.