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Flopping!
To celebrate Krista McLaughlin's new release, Breathless, she is hosting a blog hop! It's easy enough...tell the world of a romantic flop.
Romance flops was a specialty of mine. Honestly? You don't know happy I am to be married and not have to date.
Believe it or not- I am awkward.
New situations morph me into this clumsy, stuttering mess. This excruciating discomfort was even worse when there was the pressure of a possible relationship.
Oh, Lordy! I hate to admit this, but...
I was once a compulsive date ender. I apologize to every guy I ever went out with and used any one of these lame excuses to ditch a date:
1. I just remembered, my parents lowered my curfew to um...however long it takes to drive home.
2. I just remembered, I have to get up really early and leave town, for like a month.
3. Oh look! It's my bestie! She'll give me a ride home now. It will save you the bother....thoughtful, I know.
4. Sure, I'd love for you to call me again, but I'm permanently grounded from the phone.
5. I didn't ditch you. You were talking and I suddenly got a headache/food poisoning/malaria.
I am shamed to even admit this. I wasn't even smooth enough to be clever!
Thank God my husband is a patient man. A very, very patient man.
Investing
I imagined Koopmans opening the box with the hideous little she-version of his alter-ego, Siggy (if you're confused, catch up HERE), and his little guys being scarred for life when they asked, "Poppa, what's in the box?"
And the answer was the bug-eyed creature created with my hot glue gun.
Sooo...I added a few pups...and got these in return:Kodey (2) is by the table, Tobey (6) has the blue stripe and Corey (4) is standing on the couch :)
Grocery store puppies- 1.50
Little Koopmans's smiles- priceless
That's a great investment!
Covering!!!
Sometimes a single choice alters the course of a person's life forever...
Coming May 12, 2014 from Truelove Press- a Western historical romance!
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Congratulations Melissa!!! And best of luck to all you hearty A-Z'ers!!
Wow you were a ditcher Liz, poor guys. The kids smiles are indeed priceless, thank goodness there was just one creepy doll. Congrats Mel, the story is engaging and the cover amazing.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sheena-kay. :)
DeleteI know Sheena-kay. I was, at best, nervous, jittery and never any fun. Fortunately, I was rarely asked out in the first place!
DeleteThose excused totally made me laugh! Oh well, I'm sure they got the hint at least!
ReplyDeleteI'm certain they thought I was a total moron. And looking back, they were probably happy I was using the escape hatch. I was just sooo awkward. I think a deer trapped by headlights looks more at ease.
DeleteThanks for the shout-out! :D
ReplyDeleteHey. At least you got asked out on dates. LOL
Love the pics of Mark's boys. Priceless is right! :)
You may find this shocking (NOT!), but I rarely got asked out...maybe that's why when I did go out, I was so freaking bad at it!
DeleteThat is definitively a great investment. Look at those smiles! Way to go, Liz. You did a great job with that voodoo doll, because voodoo dolls are meant to be scary, you know. Dragon hugs!
ReplyDeleteShe was more than a little creepy!
DeleteThanks for the dragon hugs! Human hugs back to you.
A great investment indeed. LOL wow, you were ummm errr very obvious.
ReplyDeleteI was such a dork. My older sister was such a flirt, she would have guys galore. I was a stuttering foolish mess. I should have just realized I was happier playing Dungeons and Dragon's on the weekends rather than trying the whole "date" thing.
DeleteLiz, you are hysterical! I loved reading Mark's post on receiving "the package". Too funny! Great idea to include something for the boys--you do know how little boys think!
ReplyDeleteSo you were a compulsive date ender? Love the lines you used--anything to get out of the date, right!
Melissa's book sounds awesome--another one to add to my must read (whoa, this list is getting long!)
And yes, be sure to check out PicMonkey--it's pretty fun. If you have any questions on how to use it, let me know. :)
Thanks, Kristen. :)
DeletePanic removes all cleverness Kristin. Though the one about the phone, that was obvious snark and looking back...I meant that one. I had been fixed up by a friend with a guy from another town and he bragged about being the captain of his football team and told me a funny story of the guys peeing on another kid's mouthpiece. A mature me would have said, "Take me home, jerk." Awkward me wasn't so smooth.
DeleteThat was really nice of you to send something for Mark's kids.
ReplyDeleteGlad I never dated you. And I mean that in a nice way.
I made a way better friend! Though I can't imagine any of my blogger buddy friends ever getting ditched. You guys are all gentleman with active brain cells. My husband was actually the only guy I dated who hit on my geek side. He tried the "Hi, I read books and think the Green Lantern is cool." That worked way better than, "Hi, I have a Mustang."
DeleteLOL, I love the dating stories!! I'm so with you - it's such a blessed relief to be happily married and FAR away from the dating torture :) And congratulations to Melissa!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Liz. :)
DeleteDating is torture!!!! I have friends who miss the teenage days and I'm like WHY?!!! Goopy, awkward, confused, insecure, and on and on...who wants to go back to THAT?
DeleteI had to date in my late 30s--it was a horrible experience. Online dating...ugh! A friend once gave me a hard time for not answering calls when a date didn't go well. We'd meet once at a coffee shop or whatever and if I didn't like the guy, I just didn't answer when he called. I assumed he'd get the message. So I decided to try it my friend's way--it was UGLY. Telling someone, "I'm sorry, but it just wasn't the right fit" brought some mean, hateful responses. Not a single guy was graceful about it. So I went back to ignoring calls!
ReplyDeleteI feel avenged! I was just talking with my hubs and I told him, boy I sound really mean and he pointed out that young me was a jerk magnet. All but attracting him, of course ;)
DeleteI laughed so hard when I read your comment, Elizabeth. When I was in high school, I told my mom, "I'm just a crud magnet." She still laughs about it. But it was TRUE! LOL
DeleteOh, dating, how I do NOT miss thee!! Those pictures are absolutely adorable. And I love the cover too--thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI sure don't miss it!!
DeleteBwa-ha-ha-ha! You were THAT girl. Oh my. I was the nice girl whose dating calendar filled up and I just made sure there wasn't an opening for any guy I'd decided not to date. Of course, there was one who didn't give up. He just KEPT showing up at my door--like on my 16th birthday with a white rose and some hair-brained idea he's was going to just whisk me off on a date. Which, I already had a date. To a dance. We're friends to this day and can both laugh about his old "you will date me" phase. He even gets along well with my hubby.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what kind of girl I qualified as. A neurotic mess? LOL. There was a guy in my class who started asking me out in elementary school and he still teases my husband. He was a good friend and it was all in good fun.
DeleteI think I fell into Stephanie's category. Easier to make an excuse than just say, take me home, I'm bored.
I say no 99% of the time to spare myself the awkward experience. LOL Though, I must admit, my last date was a champ. The first thing I said when I got in the car was, "You should probably know I have a gun on me in case we get pulled over" and he didn't bat an eyelash! :)
ReplyDeleteI can always count on you to have the wise answer! My biggest problem was that I was a bit mealy mouthed and went out with people I knew were totally not my type.
DeleteLOL
DeleteMy bestie has a weapon fetish. :P
Congrats, Krista and Melissa! :)
ReplyDeleteBooks everywhere! I'll never have to say, "What to read again!"
DeleteThanks, David. :)
DeleteHaha, I am enjoying all these romantic flop posts! Being single really is no picnic!
ReplyDeleteDating? What's that? I'm very awkward too. It was easier on me meeting my husband online! Melissa's cover is gorgeous. And those little pups (and boys!) are very cute.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Christine.
DeleteGreat pics of Mark's kids! :D
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit awkward but have had successful dates. Just not successful relationships, sadly :P But I'm loving my life anyway, for now ...
Congrats to Melissa and it really sounds like your hubby had to be patient to to get you. Glad it all worked out :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mark.
DeleteThose are great!! :) I've never used any of those, but I've been tempted a few times. :) Thanks so much for participating in my bloghop and sharing about my release!
ReplyDeleteCongrats, Krista. :)
DeleteThe date ending sounded brutal, but you ended up with your husband, who you didn't end things with, and that's the great part.
ReplyDeleteI love the cover.
Thank you, Media. I'm thrilled with the job Carrie did. :)
DeleteI suppose no one makes it out of life without some regrets and mine is that teenage me could be quite an idiot, I don't think the brain cells were fully developed until around age 17.
Delete