Fear, Worry, & Insecurity: An IWSG Post
We're both happy that Halloween is over. Years ago, I was perusing a pet store in October. They had a litter of black kittens. I was, of course, oohing and ahhing over them when the store clerk told me they did not allow for adoptions of black cats during the Halloween season because they often end up tortured and mutilated. I was floored! Who would do that? Were all of those 1980's school-fear programs right? Were Satanists everywhere????
Who knows, but that bit of information haunts me every October.
To make the anxiety worse, I adopted a black cat (in April, like a good non-Satanist), and now when the Halloween season rolls around, I have reason to panic. All through October, I have to guard the outside doors. Whenever Psylocke goes near one, I scooch her away and remind her that bad people will kill her.
Whew. It's a lot of stress owning a black cat in October. To make it worse, this year, I saw a black cat wandering the Walmart parking lot. To my husband's delight, I wasn't able to catch it.
I told him the poor thing would probably die a horrible death now.
He said it was well fed and healthy—was I really going to steal someone's cat?
Well, obviously, I was...if I was quicker.
So, what does any of this have to do with insecurity?
The truth is I invest a lot of worry into almost everything, including my writing. I worry I'm wasting my time. I worry I'm wasting the reader's time. Or even worse, I'm wasting the reader's money. Every time someone tells me they bought my book, I instantly think—please don't hate me if you hate it.
Toady, I am going to admit that it's hard to get motivated when your brain cells are consumed with fear and worry. And of course, the result of fear and worry is insecurity. And it sucks.
As for this month's question: Do I NaNo? That's a no. I don't do any sort of sprints in life, ever.,
Thank you to the awesome co-hosts for this month! Thank you PJ Colando, Jean Davis, Lisa Buie Collard, and Diedre Knight! You guys rock!
As for this month's question: Do I NaNo? That's a no. I don't do any sort of sprints in life, ever.,
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Oh, that's terrible about the black cats!
ReplyDeleteI constantly have to push fear and worry out of the way to get any writing done. To get anything done, really. Sigh.
Isn't that horrible?
DeleteI think we should get bonus points for doing it afraid.
I worry if I'm not worrying about something, anything, nothing. I didn't realise black cats were at risk at Hallowe'en - poor creatures. People can be so cruel.
ReplyDeleteI may resemble that...worry if I'm not worrying. Sigh.
DeleteThat's one pet shop's policy. Hopefully, they were just overly cautious, but it has stuck with me.
I've always wondered about the black cats on Halloween thing. It carries the whiff of an urban legend. But still, better safe than sorry when an animal's welfare is at stake.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of Halloween and black cats: Many years ago (like, almost 40... sigh) we adopted a stray who had a litter before we could get her spayed. One of the kittens was all black. Back then, we didn't know any better, so we let our cats outside. On Halloween, we let them in for the night--and discovered 2 black cats instead of one. The second one was older and fluffier than ours, and she strolled in like she owned the place. No collar. No lost cat signs in the neighborhood. So we kept her. We had her for over 20 years. She was dumb as a bag of hammers but one of the sweetest cats I've ever known.
That's hilarious! That cat obviously knew where to find safe haven.
DeleteI agree it's most likely urban legend. But then I worry about the amount of dumb youths who hear an urban legend and...round and round my brain goes until I'm thinking like you—better safe than sorry!!
I've always heard that people should keep their black cats safe around Halloween. Some people are just pure evil. If they could hurt an animal, imagine what they could do to a person?
ReplyDeleteExcellent point. And you're right, there is evil in this world.
DeleteThat's pretty terrible about black cats. I never heard that before. No NaNo for me either.
ReplyDeleteIt is terrible. No one else seems to have heard anything like that, so maybe it's not true.
DeleteIt sounds like a good idea to keep your cat in during Halloween. And you're not alone in wondering if you're wasting your time writing. I wonder about it all the time, and I don't have much desire to get published. I try to focus on the joy of writing.
ReplyDeleteThe older I get, the more I focus on the joy. And the joy of writing is enough to keep me writing.
DeleteWe had two black cats and I'm glad they were indoor only. People are sick.
ReplyDeleteMine is indoor only too. Too many people hate cats.
DeleteYou needed roller skates, Liz! Than that cat would have been yours. Thanks for the humor. It's always appreciated.
ReplyDeleteMe on a set of roller skates, now that would really make you laugh!!!
DeleteI had no idea that happened to black cats. I knew they are harder to adopt because of stigma.
ReplyDeleteI hear ya on the worry and fear.
A friend of mine told me that our local shelter has a black cat room. There are so many of them and so few being adopted, they have a whole room full. I'm trying to talk my husband into just one more...
DeletePhysically, I'm built for comfort and not for speed, so I get it. But I actually like the challenge of writing sprints.
ReplyDeleteI will sometimes do cleaning sprints...works well until you try to find something later. LOL
DeleteOh yeah, fear and worry kill creativity and motivation for sure!
ReplyDeleteI'm working on being fearless. And doing a sit up. Halfway there, maybe? LOL
DeleteOof. That's horrible about the kitties. :( I hope your fears leave you alone, because you really are an excellent writer.
ReplyDeleteAww, Loni. You're the sweetest.
DeleteLove that picture! What a positively spooky Halloween cat! (That's terrible about the mistreatment of black cats, though!) I'm with you on NaNo. I've never done it, either. Not enough time.
ReplyDeleteShe is a perfect Halloween cat!
DeleteYou know, Halloween is a worry time when it comes to kitties. I'm thankful you keep such a close eye on yours. And as far as your writing insecurities. Goes with the territory , doesn't it? But please know, you don't need to worry. You're a very talented writer. Your writing is flavored with humor and emotion AND a good story line;)
ReplyDeleteSandra sandracox.blogspot.com
And Sandra is one of my best writer buddies. :) <3
DeleteI lived with a black cat (my housemate's) for a time. He was a beauty and incredibly feisty. He burst through my closed and locked bedroom door once at night. We had a talk. I told him that if someone is going to do that, it best be a human. "Now go find him."
ReplyDeleteLove ya, girlfriend.
Did he find you a human?
DeleteLove ya too, Bubbeleh. (I looked up friend in Yiddish and this said it meant Little Doll and I thought, that is Robyn through and through!)
That shot of Psylocke is priceless.
ReplyDeleteHave a creative day. Hugs
Sandra sandracox.blogspot.com
Isn't that so very Halloweeny?
DeleteBeautiful blog
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeletePlease read my post
ReplyDeleteWill do!
Delete