Fairy Fales

12:56 AM Elizabeth Seckman 30 Comments

I'm on vacation!!!

So, while I am digging my toes in the sand and enjoying some beach therapy, I asked Mark Koopmans to come by and keep you all entertained! Mark, of course, said yes because he is bound by the Charlie's Scribes creed to help burnt out and/or vacationing bloggers with spectacular posts.

If you need a break, call on Charlie's Scribes HERE!!!

Now, here's Mark with a few Fairy Fales- you know the first crack at anything is rarely the best....

Top Ten Fairy Fales, or beloved children’s’ fairy tales that never quite made it to Release Day.

CinderBella – The story about a female chimney sweep who sought love but was sadly and severely injured by a descending Santa Claus on Christmas Eve.

Oops...is that a smudge on my nose?

Peter Palm – Beta readers found his character too oily.

Palms up. I'm free or under arrest....

Christmas Carol – Too many people questioned what Carol did for the other eleven months – and some were convinced she, and not CinderBella (a former love rival) would later became Mrs. S. Claus.

"Back off Bella, you bird nosed freak!"

Alice in Wanderland – People were just tripping on this one, dude.

Fishnet stockings and knee pads? These girls know how to party!

Chronicles of Marmalade – Somehow the history of this jam-like substance never became a hit with the 18-49 set.)

Peter found himself in a sticky situation.

Snow White and the Several Dwarfs: Severe cutbacks at the publishing house curtailed the success of this short story.

Pick seven? Oh, so that's tightening the plot.

Ugly Duckling II – Unfortunately, once Goose started making it personal, all bets were off for this story of running and friendship.

"Sooo, which one of you is named Swan?"

Beauty and the Yeast – This beautiful tale of a former play date model who moved to France to open a small bakery never rose to its right temperature.

Much more delicious than talking tea kettles.

Little Red: Riding in the Hood – After her trippin’ Caddy was rendered on blocks for the third time in a month, readers suggested the fairy tale be moved to a forest. There, a male lead was introduced and Red was recast as a Gretel.

The forest setting needs far fewer operational permits.

Rumplestiltzkinheimer – No one could spell the dude’s name, so R’kin was born. That, too, became less of a success than was at first envisioned.

"Okay, so I can spin gold, yet I still I have to kidnap me a princess?
Can I just buy a Kadashian babe?"

Rapunzachoo – Beta readers kept saying, “Bless you” whenever this title was mentioned.

This may be picked up as a mini series, sponsored by Zyrtec.

The Three Little Osha Pigs – After two were injured in separate house demolitions, the tale was shut down as government workers investigated workers’ comp issues.

Building permits, the new big bad wolf.

Morsel and Gretel – A hungry boy and a former Caddy driver bond over a lost journey, but this story was marred by Gretel always going on about “keeping it real” and wanting to visit her “homie.” (Ed. Note: No address was forthcoming.)

This caption has absolutely nothing to do with Hansel and Gretel.
I just liked it.

Thanks Mark!!!

Want to win an autographed copy of Bella's Point when it's released? Visit Tammy HERE

Photo Credits:

photo credit: kevin dooley via photopin Michael Taggart Photography via photopin Castles, Capes & Clones via photopin dontshoot.me! via photopin cc photo credit: JD Hancock via photopinCastles, Capes & Clones via photopin ehpien via Giovana Medeiros via photopin cc photo credit: PMillera4 via photopin cc photo credit: crowolf via photopin cc photo credit: Laurence & Annie via photopin cc photo credit: chris.alcoran via photopin phxcc via photopin cc

30 comments:

Mark KoopmansJune 10, 2014 at 1:18 AM
This is so, like, the best post I've read all day.

What?

PS: Wishing you a great vacation, Liz, and those wishes be no fairy fale :)
Leigh CovingtonJune 10, 2014 at 1:21 AM
BAHAHAHA! Mark is always hilarious! These are cracking me up and I don't think I can choose a fave, although the one with the OSHA pigs is still making me laugh! Great to have you, Mark! And enjoy vacation, Elizabeth!
Suzy, The Grey BrunetteJune 10, 2014 at 3:46 AM
He he he he he this is brilliant, Mark! Little Red Riding in the Hood... that's just genius! And that last photo... LOVE it!!

(Happy Holidaying Elizabeth!)
Murees DupèJune 10, 2014 at 4:04 AM
This was an awesome post. Just what I needed to start-off my day. Enjoy the vacation.
Alex J. CavanaughJune 10, 2014 at 6:31 AM
Those are hilarious! Alice in Wanderland - can't imagine why kids and parents didn't dig that one.
Pat HattJune 10, 2014 at 7:52 AM
haha awesome job, poor pigs. Enjoy your vacation
Author R. Mac WheelerJune 10, 2014 at 8:19 AM
ha ha

what a card
MelissaJune 10, 2014 at 8:53 AM
Too funny.
Enjoy your vacation, Elizabeth. :)
Rachel SchieffelbeinJune 10, 2014 at 9:59 AM
Ha! Super cute!
Michael Di GesuJune 10, 2014 at 11:55 AM
Always funny, Mark!!!

Have a great time on your vacation Elizabeth. DON'T FORGET THE SUNSCREEN!
Misha GerrickJune 10, 2014 at 12:47 PM
Jeesh! You made me snort my coffee. :-D
Romance Book HavenJune 10, 2014 at 4:03 PM
Hilarious for me early in the morning!
RobinJune 10, 2014 at 4:14 PM
Funny stuffs!
Mark KoopmansJune 10, 2014 at 4:43 PM
Thanks y'all - and Liz gets all the credit for the pictures... I just had the weird ideas and she found the whacky pics :)
JoJune 10, 2014 at 8:22 PM
Remind me not to ask for your help when I go on holiday Mark.

You are one nutty slaphead.
Tara TylerJune 10, 2014 at 8:52 PM
how fun was that! great job, mark!
see you soon, Elizabeth!
Vanessa MorganJune 10, 2014 at 11:38 PM
Hahaha, hilarious!
AnonymousJune 11, 2014 at 10:18 AM
These need to be written. I would read all of these.

Have a great vacation.
David P. KingJune 11, 2014 at 1:00 PM
I would so read any of those (and kudos on the Justice League Legos). Awesome post, Mark! :)
AnonymousJune 11, 2014 at 2:02 PM
These look awesome! And enjoy your vacay, Elizabeth!
Crystal CollierJune 11, 2014 at 3:32 PM
Oh my. These may just be a little too silly for me. Hope you have a great time away, Elizabeth!
Nas June 11, 2014 at 5:04 PM
Funny! Enjoy your break!
klahanieJune 11, 2014 at 8:21 PM
Hey Elizabeth, have a beach of a time.

As for good old Sir Mazza, fairy tales can come true, they can happen to you. You are like totally crazy, dude! No mention of the "wee folks" starring Fidelina, the beautiful fairy princess, her husband, Geoffrey the garden gnome and their beautiful boy, Einahalk. Shame on you! LOL

Gary :)
Elise FallsonJune 13, 2014 at 11:34 AM
You're the second person I've come across today that's on vacation at the beach! Well, enjoy the sun, hope you don't get sand up your--nose, keep hydrated (wink, wink).

Fairy Fales for the WIN! Too funny, Mark and I'm glad you put the lego dudes in there too. :D
Loni TownsendJune 13, 2014 at 5:26 PM
Very entertaining!

I hope you're having fun on your vacation, Elizabeth!
cleemckenzieJune 13, 2014 at 6:56 PM
I may never be able to read those fairy tales again. And how can Elizabeth take a vacation? This summer is starting off just way too strange for me. . .the one who desperately needs a vacation and can't take one! Thanks for the mini break, Mark.
TrishaJune 28, 2014 at 1:18 AM
How did I MISS this??? Maaan, what a crackin' post! :D

I just love a good (or bad) pun, and this was riddled with 'em. :)
Sheena-kay GrahamJune 28, 2014 at 1:25 PM
This was beyond hilarious! Homies indeed. Yeah buy a Kardashian Rump.