Hodge Podge and Poop
Looking for a profound post?
Then you came to the wrong blog.
I started my day with this hope that today would be a marvel of accomplishment. I'd write magical words, I'd clean my house in a frenzy that would make the blitzkrieg look slow, and I'd have dinner ready to eat so son #2 could have a nice, home cooked meal before leaving for his TSA trip to Florida.
Instead, I stepped in dog pooh, and then trailed it from my dining room table to my coffee maker.
By the time I scrubbed the floor and my slippers, son #1 was awake and wanting breakfast; son #3 wanted me to call Microsoft and see if he could get his gamer account back (seems he got locked out after making one too many attempts to get in with bogus email accounts like jimjimminy and hotman65); and then comes the text from the hubs reminding me to check on son #4's order with Amazon.
Crapola. Literally.
Son #1...have a bagel; number #3...later, when you get back from football, I promise; and son #4? Seriously...I would kick his cute little hiney, but it may be partly my fault.
I guess while I'm blogging or writing, I don't pay one-hundred percent attention to questions and comments of the living people in the room.
According to my kids, Conner (boy #4) got permission to shop and purchase a Nintendo DS 3-D on Amazon while I was busy blogging. Here I thought we were talking about pancakes, but like they say, I get distracted.
So yesterday, the games (which I guess I also approved and assume he paid for) arrived, but no DS. Conner gets worried and asks, "Mom, my seller has a 100% negative rating, do you think that matters?"
Oy Vey.
New rule.
No asking Mom questions when she is hypnotized by the glare of the computer screen.
Therefore...due to the many hiccups, distractions, duties and obligations...I have nothing.
You want profound, you want funny? Might I suggest stopping by Kristin Lamb's blog? Her rant on body dysmorphia is as funny as it is tragically true.
Might I also suggest being brave, standing up as a writing contender and entering WRiTE CLUB?
Can you take a hit? Stick your writing chin out there and see if you can come out on top?
Time is almost up. You have until June 30th to get your entry in for the first round of judging.
I'd also like to take a minute from my busy, exotic life filled with dog crap and kids and say thanks to the truly exotic, living in France, eating steamed veggies, and running in marathons, Ms. Elise Fallson for this award.
It's so pretty and I love the sentiment.
Thanks Elise!
Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves, for sure.
Just ask Aretha and Annie ;)
And I'm passing this award along to Sheena-kay Graham and Livia Peterson. Really, I can't think of a single blogging chick who isn't worthy, but these two gals always take it to the next level!
Can you take a hit? Stick your writing chin out there and see if you can come out on top?
Time is almost up. You have until June 30th to get your entry in for the first round of judging.
I'd also like to take a minute from my busy, exotic life filled with dog crap and kids and say thanks to the truly exotic, living in France, eating steamed veggies, and running in marathons, Ms. Elise Fallson for this award.
It's so pretty and I love the sentiment.
Thanks Elise!
Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves, for sure.
Just ask Aretha and Annie ;)
And I'm passing this award along to Sheena-kay Graham and Livia Peterson. Really, I can't think of a single blogging chick who isn't worthy, but these two gals always take it to the next level!
Oh Elizabeth! I know I shouldn't be laughing but. . .Sorry. I hope the rest of the day is better! Have some chocolate, or wine, or both. Whatever. :)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the award! You are awesome. :)
They have those frosty frozen alcohol treats at Wal Mart...maybe I can indulge in one of those, cause trust me, the day only got more bizarre!
DeleteI wish my mom would have blogged back when I was a kid....I would have gotten away with so much more stuff back then! :)
ReplyDeleteMy mom used to run the local chapter of the Red Cross from our house and I would ask her questions while she was on the phone and run with her, "whatevers". I'm paying the price for my rottenness!
DeleteOh my gosh how hilarious. Poop happens! I can feel your pain as I live my life in a distracted ADD sort of stupor, kind of falling along from one blunder to the next. LOL
ReplyDeleteCONGRATS on the award. And this was my favorite post I read today!!
Living life in a stupor...I could put that on a tee-shirt it's so appropriate!
DeleteA hundred percent crappy rating? That's not good!
ReplyDeleteYeah, why didn't I have a distracted mother when I was a kid?
Out of five ratings, the seller got three 2 stars and 2 one stars, but Conner will get the DS for $2 cheaper...if it ever arrives!
DeleteI didn't mean to laugh. I sure hope your day is improving. Thank you for the entertainment. I was feeling overwhelmed and frantic. Now I just feel normal.
ReplyDeleteNo, it only got worse...but hey, that' nest week's post ;)
DeleteOh man, I thought my day was bad running around on both hours of sleep!
ReplyDeleteAnd you know, every day, I'm convinced I'll be back to the amazing writing of magical words. The words I get are usually scraped off the bottom of my shoe and slapped on the screen just in time to sigh at how I botched another day. This is why my first drafts are nastiness.
I hate the draft nasties. Heck, I just spent months doing rewrites after rewrites and still feel like it's a nasty first draft.
DeleteBut I've read your samples, they are impressive!
Oh dear... what a way to start the day. I can totally sympathize, although I haven't stepped in dog poop for some time ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm off to check out those other blogs now!
xx
You won't regret the time spent! And I'm glad your poop free :)
DeleteI hope you got to sit down and relax at the end of the day! I agree with the rule of not asking questions when it's obvious you're distracted by shiny blogs. Hubby does it to me all the time... the downside is, his purchases can cost a lot more :-)
ReplyDeleteI know. Maybe we need to put that on a plaque! Or maybe have a little light that blinks, "Do not disturb".
DeleteDays like these always seem to happen when we feel we're most prepared for the world, lol. I hope you can rest soon!
ReplyDeleteAshley, you are right! I never really thought about it. Maybe it's God's way of making me not get too cocky!
DeleteCongratulations on the award. You chose great recipients too.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a completely unprofound post today too. I had no wisdom in me. None.
I read your post and I thoroughly enjoyed it. And found much wisdom in those words!
DeleteDistracted is my default state of mind these days! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the WRiTE CLUB mention! Time is indeed growing short.
My pleasure! Winning WRiTE CLUB would look awesome on a query!
DeleteYou have a bad case of blogging hypnosis. I can relate to crap days and poo on the shoes. Evidently, during one time of attempting a blog, my son told me I agreed to move out and give him the keys to my car.
ReplyDeleteSorry to our friend DL, who is hovering above me. I'd rather be beaten to death with a wet noodle than get involved with all these competitions. However, much fulfilment to those who do! :)
I've got a video of sisters doing it for themselves. However, we'll keep that a secret. Congrats on getting that Sisterhood type award from the amazingly awesome, just like yourself, Elise.
Awards, blog hops, blog fests, writing competitions! Arggghhh!!!! Phew, feel much better..
Have a good poop-free weekend and thank you for your kind comment on my latest posting.
Your adoring fan,
Gary :)
You're always a breath of freshness Gary and you always bring the giggles. Sisters doing it themselves...oh my...I might just paws and speak with Penny now. You men. LOL.
DeleteGlad you found kindness in my comments. They were truths shared with a friend. Never let this world get you down.
I'm sorry I laughed at your day but this post was just too funny. Much better than something profound. :D
ReplyDeleteAs long as it gets a laugh...it's all good!
DeleteWhat a pretty award.
ReplyDeleteI felt busy reading that, so I can imagine how busy that morning was in real life. I can't stand stepping on dog poo, wet soil, or smelly peat-like substances. It's always a big cleanup experience and a major inconvenience.
Time flies when I'm blogging or commenting. Sometimes I can't believe what time it is.
Isn't it amazing? I have had to set a timer to remind myself to stop blogging and write. I mean I have to write, right?
DeleteOh no this was totally profound :D
ReplyDeleteI'm always amazed by how much of a time suck the Internet is. I make myself go outside at least once just so I don't become an (extra) pale recluse O_O
Being pale is good. You will have nicer skin than your sun worshiping counter-parts.
DeleteProfound, hmm? The moral I guess is to watch where you step!
I am not laughing... uh nuh...
ReplyDeleteI am *petrified* :)
Dear CyberSis... you are living my life in the future, so what should I do?
Keep my three boys away from Amazon and attach a plastic bag to the rear end of the household pooch?
Hyperventilates....
Both are good ideas! And yes, be warned Mark...as they grow, boys get better at being rotten!! And as the dog ages, the worse her, um, skills are :)
DeleteOh crap! I mean poo! I mean ...yeah, could be worse. ;) My words that is. Not sure if your day could have been worse! haha.
ReplyDeleteYou poor thing. It sounds pretty chaotic over there.
There are some days I have to stop and think hard...did I remember to brush my teeth?
DeleteDog poo one minute. Awards the next. You live one exciting life, Elizabeth. You could be a main character in a story.
ReplyDeleteExciting? Okay, I'll run with that...hehe. I think Trisha described it best...chaotic!
DeleteI get where you're coming from, Elizabeth. At least you have the desire, which is more than half the battle. Can't tell you the exact percentage, but it's somewhere in the 50th percentile. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I have desire! If I had as much action as I have dreams, I'd be sitting on the NY best seller list!
DeleteNever a good day when it starts off with crap. Hope your mornings have been lemon fresh since! :)
ReplyDeleteIt got worse...but I'll share that later ;)
DeleteThis was all too funny. Fortunately, I came here immediately after visiting Elise's blog where she exhorted me to not be a cow. I can only handle so many profound blog posts in a single day.
ReplyDeleteSo, uh, did any of your boys happen to snap a photo of you hypnotized by the glare of the computer screen? I might be able be willing to swap a Nintendo DS 3-D for it.
Today I was feeling like I'd have enjoyed being a cow! Will somebody run the rope so I know what to do?
DeleteI won't even tell my son you made the offer. He's quite the entrepreneur, he once listed our Christmas tree on Ebay!
Oh, I've had days like that - when dog messes made me really thankful for paper towels, and my kids dined on chocolate for breakfast (thankfully they haven't asked me for any nintendos)
ReplyDeleteOh my, I'm EXACTLY the same way. I'm not responsible for anything I say when I'm in front of my computer. Haha
ReplyDelete