Fairy Tale Madness!!!
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| Join the fun! Find the rules HERE! |
I have the funnest friends...they are twisted and strange and come up with cool blogfests like this one!!!
Thanks to Cassie Mae, Morgan Shamy, Mark Koopmans, Leigh Covington...the fabulous judges who will be choosing best entries in the following categories:
Best Plot Twist
Best Love Story
Best Tragedy
Best Comic Releif
Now I like the Team Love Story picture the best, because it's pretty, but I'm willing to be considered for any category. Though, I must say ahead of time. Mine is a serious entry, complete with the obligatory moral and everything.
:)
50 Shades of Red
Once upon a time, an innocent young girl ventured into the Forbidden Forest. The pounding of her heart and the butterflies in her stomach warned her that she wasn’t alone in the dense wood. Looking over her shoulder, she saw a pair of eyes.
They were grey and held all the magic and mystery of a stormy sky. Those eyes lured her closer, closer, until she could smell the wild scent of the beast. He was a wolf. A wolf with REALLY big paws.
Intrigued, she reached out and stroked his fur, caressing the silken strands, digging her fingers below the hair to the warm flesh beneath. She let out a breathy moan and whispered, “Please, Mr. Grey Wolf, take me to your lair and I’ll make your every fantasy come true.”
So, the wolf took Little Red back to his den…after stopping by the adult store for a Kama Sutra.
After 50 days of splendor, pulled muscles, and rope burns, Red broke away from her love nest because she had an itch. An itch that only the Witch at the Happily Ever After Health Department could cure.
The Witch drew blood; chanting as she stirred her cauldron, “Bubble, bubble, boil, and bubble…drop your drawers and you’ll have trouble.”
She turned to Red, “Looks like you have 50 Shades of Red…from rusty to angry, oozing crimson.”
“Oh no! This can’t be so! What shall I do? Please, dear Witch, stop this infuriating itch.”
The Witch handed her a leather pouch. “Take this Penicillin Potion three times a day for the next ten days, and remember, don’t trust the Wolf, no matter how magic his eyes. Save your flexibility for Trojan Guy.”
The moral of the story? Trust the Wolf and you may get burned…especially when you pee.
Oh my gosh! That's fabulous! "Save your flexibility for the Trojan Guy" is the best! Great job.
ReplyDeleteThanks Lara. I figured it was a timely "back to school" reminder for all. :)
DeleteHoly crap... I am laughing SO HARD... You naughty girl!!!! LOL! Like Lara, I'm dying with the Trojan guy comment. And everything else... Still laughing! ;)
ReplyDeleteMe? Naughty? Bwa ha ha!!!!
DeleteElizabeth this is epic. EPIC!
ReplyDeleteWhat a compliment Kyra! Thanks you. :)
DeleteAh, hahahaha! Why isn't this comedy? lol. Wicked funny. Delightfully naughty read.
ReplyDeleteThen comedy it is! :)
DeleteI almost snorted strudel out my nose when I read the title! Great job.
ReplyDeleteI've snorted out milk...and that was painful enough...don't want to try strudel!
DeleteVery funny. Yeah when a girl says this “Please, Mr. Grey Wolf, take me to your lair and I’ll make your every fantasy come true.” She is not innocent as far as I'm concerned.
ReplyDeleteI also love how you used the witch in this story and the Trojan guy line was fantastic.
Best of luck with your story and if you want some twisty angst check out My Entry.
She was innocent...till the magical, grey eyed wolf mesmerized her. Well, that's HER story and she's sticking to it. ;)
DeleteI'll be by in a bit to check out yours!
"Trust the Wolf and you may get burned…especially when you pee." HAH! This is the funniest thing I've read all day. :D
ReplyDeleteAnd I am flattered. Thanks Carrie!
DeleteOh my gosh that was too funny! You're awesome.
ReplyDeleteI love being awesome!!! Thanks Rachel!!
DeleteBIG SMILES :D
LOL! I so needed that laugh. Wonderful!
ReplyDeleteGlad I could provide. Thanks Aldrea!!
DeleteHilarious! I loved this entry. :D
ReplyDeleteThanks Medeia! I haven't been around yet to check out the rest...getting a boy packed up for college...but I'm taking some time today...I just KNOW this is going to be fun!!
DeleteOMG I laughed my BUTT off when I read this!!!!! This is too funny. Well done, well done!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lisa!!
Delete(I got your promo card...what a great idea!)
That was terrific. Laughed out loud. One of my favorites so far!
ReplyDeleteThanks Suzi!! I haven't read a single other one yet, but I plan to change that in just a minute. :)
DeleteClassic!!! And I am soooo calling this for comedy :)
ReplyDeleteAt first, with the whole moral warning, I was like where is *this* going and then when the breathy moans started I was like, "No way, dude!"
Laughed the rest of the way and I think you should give Trojan Guy his own gig.
(That didn't sound right:)
Thanks Mark! And I'm good with comedy...but it is a story of love...love gone wrong...which makes it have a plot twist. Oh the pain of being a cross genre genius ;)
DeleteI could give Trojan Guy his own gig, but really he's just a conglomeration of all those thoughtful, considerate guys who care enough to um...care about tomorrow.
I'm laughing so hard, I think I'm gonna pee!!! bahahaha!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh - you are hilarious and completely brilliant!
Leigh, will you come live by me? I could use a dose of pep and cheer each morning! Thanks chick!
DeleteI'm speechless, who needs 50 shades of gray when this masterpiece is out there. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteSoooo true!!! And I saved you $3!!
DeleteVery, very clever!
ReplyDeleteWhy, thank you very much fellow small town chick!
DeleteLOL! You are hilarious!! Great job! :D
ReplyDeleteThank you Chantele! I am very flattered. :D
DeleteOh my gosh, I can't stop laughing!!!!! That was great!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks chick!!!
DeleteAnd boom goes the dynamite!
ReplyDeletecouldn't have said it better :)
DeleteSmart and very, very different! Hilarious too!
ReplyDeleteHaha - the moral is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteEvery story needs a teachable moment. :)
DeleteThat was funny! I'm thinking Team Comedy meets Team Love Story :)
ReplyDeleteI agree!
DeleteOook! Unexpected, so I guess that qualifies for a twist as well as tragedy, comedy and love story ;)
ReplyDeleteSee, that's why I couldn't pick a category...and went with the prettiest picture.
DeleteI have not stopped laughing for like ten minutes now because I keep re-reading it! I tip my invisible hat to you. This is hilarious :)
ReplyDeleteSamantha
Writing Through College
Much appreciated. I do a virtual bow in return. :)
DeleteHee hee. Who's been reading Fifty Shades of Grey? Great stuff!
ReplyDeleteSurprisingly, I have NOT read the book. But I've heard so much about it, I feel like I have!
DeleteThat was a doozy of a last line. I actually snorted!
ReplyDeleteNow, I wonder just how close this is to that infamous bestseller... not that I care to find out! Awesome job!
Thanks Nick. I haven't read the best seller either. I just know enough about it to understand the gist and realize I don't want my 12-year-old to find it in the house!
DeleteFelicitations on the win!! Great job!
ReplyDeleteI won?! I've been unplugged and out of touch as I got my baby (so what if he's 18!) ready for college. I'll have to happy dance on over there right now!!!
DeleteCongrats! So funny. ;0)
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the win! Loved your story! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Gossip Girl!!!
DeleteYou absolutely deserved to win! THAT was hilarious and I don't know how I missed this while reading through the entries. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteI was packing my son up for college during the blogfest, so I missed so many of the entries. I am committed to reading them though. Not out of fairness, but they are just so much fun!!
Delete(and thanks Tracy!)
Haha! I haven't read 50 Shades either, but this was hilarious. Great job, lady!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sabrina!!
DeleteFunny read, nice wordplay. Congrats on winning! I, too, have taken my shots at His Royal Greyness. Check it out here!: http://raceandcookie.blogspot.com/2012/07/37-shades-of-puce_847.html
ReplyDeleteThanks Tom!!
Delete