Fairy Tale Madness!!!

1:22 PM Elizabeth Seckman 64 Comments

Join the fun! Find the rules HERE!

I have the funnest friends...they are twisted and strange and come up with cool blogfests  like this one!!!

Thanks to Cassie MaeMorgan ShamyMark KoopmansLeigh Covington...the fabulous judges who will be choosing best entries in the following categories:

Best Plot Twist
Best Love Story
Best Tragedy
Best Comic Releif

Now I like the Team Love Story picture the best, because it's pretty, but I'm willing to be considered for any category. Though, I must say ahead of time. Mine is a serious entry, complete with the obligatory moral and everything.
:)



                                                       50 Shades of Red

Once upon a time, an innocent young girl ventured into the Forbidden Forest. The pounding of her heart and the butterflies in her stomach warned her that she wasn’t alone in the dense wood. Looking over her shoulder, she saw a pair of eyes. 

They were grey and held all the magic and mystery of a stormy sky. Those eyes lured her closer, closer, until she could smell the wild scent of the beast. He was a wolf. A wolf with REALLY big paws. 

 Intrigued, she reached out and stroked his fur, caressing the silken strands, digging her fingers below the hair to the warm flesh beneath. She let out a breathy moan and whispered, “Please, Mr. Grey Wolf, take me to your lair and I’ll make your every fantasy come true.” 

So, the wolf took Little Red back to his den…after stopping by the adult store for a Kama Sutra. 

 After 50 days of splendor, pulled muscles, and rope burns, Red broke away from her love nest because she had an itch. An itch that only the Witch at the Happily Ever After Health Department could cure. 

The Witch drew blood; chanting as she stirred her cauldron, “Bubble, bubble, boil, and bubble…drop your drawers and you’ll have trouble.” 

She turned to Red, “Looks like you have 50 Shades of Red…from rusty to angry, oozing crimson.” 

“Oh no! This can’t be so! What shall I do? Please, dear Witch, stop this infuriating itch.” 

The Witch handed her a leather pouch. “Take this Penicillin Potion three times a day for the next ten days, and remember, don’t trust the Wolf, no matter how magic his eyes. Save your flexibility for Trojan Guy.” 

 The moral of the story? Trust the Wolf and you may get burned…especially when you pee.

64 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh! That's fabulous! "Save your flexibility for the Trojan Guy" is the best! Great job.

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    1. Thanks Lara. I figured it was a timely "back to school" reminder for all. :)

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  2. Holy crap... I am laughing SO HARD... You naughty girl!!!! LOL! Like Lara, I'm dying with the Trojan guy comment. And everything else... Still laughing! ;)

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  3. Ah, hahahaha! Why isn't this comedy? lol. Wicked funny. Delightfully naughty read.

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  4. I almost snorted strudel out my nose when I read the title! Great job.

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    1. I've snorted out milk...and that was painful enough...don't want to try strudel!

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  5. Very funny. Yeah when a girl says this “Please, Mr. Grey Wolf, take me to your lair and I’ll make your every fantasy come true.” She is not innocent as far as I'm concerned.
    I also love how you used the witch in this story and the Trojan guy line was fantastic.

    Best of luck with your story and if you want some twisty angst check out My Entry.

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    1. She was innocent...till the magical, grey eyed wolf mesmerized her. Well, that's HER story and she's sticking to it. ;)
      I'll be by in a bit to check out yours!

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  6. "Trust the Wolf and you may get burned…especially when you pee." HAH! This is the funniest thing I've read all day. :D

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  7. Oh my gosh that was too funny! You're awesome.

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    1. I love being awesome!!! Thanks Rachel!!
      BIG SMILES :D

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  8. LOL! I so needed that laugh. Wonderful!

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    1. Thanks Medeia! I haven't been around yet to check out the rest...getting a boy packed up for college...but I'm taking some time today...I just KNOW this is going to be fun!!

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  10. OMG I laughed my BUTT off when I read this!!!!! This is too funny. Well done, well done!!!!!

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    1. Thanks Lisa!!
      (I got your promo card...what a great idea!)

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  11. That was terrific. Laughed out loud. One of my favorites so far!

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    1. Thanks Suzi!! I haven't read a single other one yet, but I plan to change that in just a minute. :)

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  12. Classic!!! And I am soooo calling this for comedy :)

    At first, with the whole moral warning, I was like where is *this* going and then when the breathy moans started I was like, "No way, dude!"

    Laughed the rest of the way and I think you should give Trojan Guy his own gig.

    (That didn't sound right:)

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    1. Thanks Mark! And I'm good with comedy...but it is a story of love...love gone wrong...which makes it have a plot twist. Oh the pain of being a cross genre genius ;)

      I could give Trojan Guy his own gig, but really he's just a conglomeration of all those thoughtful, considerate guys who care enough to um...care about tomorrow.

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  13. I'm laughing so hard, I think I'm gonna pee!!! bahahaha!
    Oh my gosh - you are hilarious and completely brilliant!

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    1. Leigh, will you come live by me? I could use a dose of pep and cheer each morning! Thanks chick!

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  14. I'm speechless, who needs 50 shades of gray when this masterpiece is out there. Bravo!

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    1. Why, thank you very much fellow small town chick!

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  16. LOL! You are hilarious!! Great job! :D

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    1. Thank you Chantele! I am very flattered. :D

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  17. Oh my gosh, I can't stop laughing!!!!! That was great!!!

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  18. Smart and very, very different! Hilarious too!

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  19. Haha - the moral is hilarious!

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  20. That was funny! I'm thinking Team Comedy meets Team Love Story :)

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  21. Oook! Unexpected, so I guess that qualifies for a twist as well as tragedy, comedy and love story ;)

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    1. See, that's why I couldn't pick a category...and went with the prettiest picture.

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  22. I have not stopped laughing for like ten minutes now because I keep re-reading it! I tip my invisible hat to you. This is hilarious :)


    Samantha
    Writing Through College

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    1. Much appreciated. I do a virtual bow in return. :)

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  23. Hee hee. Who's been reading Fifty Shades of Grey? Great stuff!

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    1. Surprisingly, I have NOT read the book. But I've heard so much about it, I feel like I have!

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  24. That was a doozy of a last line. I actually snorted!

    Now, I wonder just how close this is to that infamous bestseller... not that I care to find out! Awesome job!

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    1. Thanks Nick. I haven't read the best seller either. I just know enough about it to understand the gist and realize I don't want my 12-year-old to find it in the house!

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  25. Felicitations on the win!! Great job!

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    1. I won?! I've been unplugged and out of touch as I got my baby (so what if he's 18!) ready for college. I'll have to happy dance on over there right now!!!

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  26. Congrats on the win! Loved your story! :)

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  27. You absolutely deserved to win! THAT was hilarious and I don't know how I missed this while reading through the entries. Excellent.

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    1. I was packing my son up for college during the blogfest, so I missed so many of the entries. I am committed to reading them though. Not out of fairness, but they are just so much fun!!
      (and thanks Tracy!)

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  28. Haha! I haven't read 50 Shades either, but this was hilarious. Great job, lady!

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  29. Funny read, nice wordplay. Congrats on winning! I, too, have taken my shots at His Royal Greyness. Check it out here!: http://raceandcookie.blogspot.com/2012/07/37-shades-of-puce_847.html

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