Man Up...It's a Gift

4:33 PM Elizabeth Seckman 2 Comments

During this Christmas shopping season, I am making myself the unelected, self-appointed man advocate. I am here to speak on behalf of every man who has bought the female in his life a gift and caught slack for it. Even the guy who really screwed up and bought snow tires and jumper cables (thanks Honey) should stand up and demand a little more respect this holiday season. You took the time to shop, right? You dropped the cash on it, right? You even wrapped it and put it under the tree, right?

Soooo, why did that top of the line rechargeable impact wrench (thanks again, Honey) not make her smile? 

Let me try to explain. 

Guys, it’s like this… women read between every line, even the lines with really fine print. She’s looking at your present with her Dr. Phil lenses on. While she’s unwrapping, she’s considering every psychological and emotional angle to the reason you bought it and what it means for your love for her. 

For example…What does that gift you worked so hard to choose SAY about your love and appreciation for your union? Bought her a sweater a size too big? You think she’s fat. Bought her a sweater a size too small? You proved she’s fat.  Bought her the wrong color? You certainly don’t know her very well, because if you did, you would know she NEVER wears that color…maybe you’re thinking of your girlfriend as you shop? 

Men, I understand it’s frustrating and I feel bad for you, I really do. And I would try to educate you on the nuances of gift buying, but I try to keep posts under 500 words.  Instead I offer this handy little gift tag as a cheerful caveat to whatever amazing thing you surprise her with:

Now ladies… this shopping season, cut your guy some slack. He’s as confused in the women’s department as we are in the hardware/ automotive store. I never understood this until I got a full blown ‘in panic mode’ call from my brother many years ago…after an unfortunate anniversary gift of a tread mill, he was desperate to make amends at Christmas. He called me, cold dread clear in his voice, “She has tennis bracelet on her list…sporting goods or jewelry?”
Yes, ladies they are that simple. Be gentle.
                                                  Merry Christmas


  1. Bwahahaha, love it! What does it say about my relationship when my hubby gives me a new vacuum for Christmas? (Actually I really want one, I HATE our vacuum.) What about when he just hands me his new computer speakers a month before Christmas and says "Merry Christmas, honey." To me, that means he thinks he's getting out of getting me a real Christmas present, just because I wanted to borrow his speakers to listen to music in the kitchen!

  2. Kristen~ speakers don't count. They have to be wrapped and put under the tree to count. Sorry Mr. Pryzbyla...that doesn't get you brownie points.
    Now the sweeper...that counts. As a fellow mom, a good sweeper is better than a diamond. I aim to be one of those decadent ladies with an upstairs/downstairs sweeper so I don't have to carry mine anymore!


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