#WeWriWa About Her, Snippet 2

6:00 AM Elizabeth Seckman 18 Comments


About Her is the follow-up book to About Us, a free novel released last year. About Us is Hayden and Cam's story. In that story, Hayden leaves her abusive ex and calls on her husband's cousin, Cam, for help. Hayden's friend, Mark, warns her that Cam is and always has been in love with her and pulling him into her end-of-marriage disaster could end in heartache. Hayden doubts Mark's instincts. Cam couldn't be in love with her because Cam is involved with Shelley, his total knock-out of a girlfriend.

Hayden and Cam's happily ever after leaves Shelley alone and wandering the globe, so she needed her own story, so there is About Her. 

Last week, Mark encountered Shelley in the airport and his humor was lost on her...as it was a few readers of the snippet. So, here are the next few lines from the opening scene. Let me know if this helps our hero redeem himself in the opening page of About Her- a work in progress.  
The asterisks mark the end of the 8 sentences. I added the rest just to wrap up the opening scene. 

 Mark grinned at her and she shot him daggers back. He rubbed his chin and look to the guard holding her. “Okay fellas, the joke’s over when the lady loses her sense of humor. Let me take her off your hands before we have to complicate things with calls to your supervisor, or if I have to, Doug, who,” Mark checked his watch, “is probably at the gym about now and won’t be the least bit happy to be interrupted with a call about work.”

The two guards looked at each other as if trying to decide if Mark spoke of the Doug Hofsass, the guy who’s rubber-stamped signature was on their paychecks. One shrugged, then the other said, “Do you promise to get her out of here?”

“It will be my pleasure,” Mark said.

                                                                **************

They let go of Shelley and she moved quickly to Mark’s side before security changed their mind or figured out he was bluffing. Mark wrapped an arm around her shoulder and grabbed her carry-on from the guard. As they walked through the airport, Mark kept that arm around her. It was protective and pleasant, especially after the fiasco on the plane and the humiliation of being dragged through the airport.

Mark looked down at her and grinned. “I feel like Rhett Butler rescuing Scarlett. Don’t tell me your shirt is fashioned from hotel curtains.”



Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly hop for everyone who loves to write! Share an 8 to 10 sentence snippet of your writing on Sunday. Visit other participants on the list and read, critique, and comment on their #8sunday posts.

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18 comments:

  1. I like Mark - he's competent and has a sense of humor.

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  2. Ooh, I love that last line! Rescue, fait accompli. Now where from here?

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  3. LOL! What a clever scene. Great characters. I can't wait to learn more about them.

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    1. Thank you!
      Speaking of the scene...after reading back over it, I realized I have several errors. Why is it I can see all the errors so clearly after it's published?

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  4. This scene establishes Cam as a heroic character, worthy of a book. Good job!

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  5. Some smooth talking from Mark! It certainly helped the airport situation - but will it work on Shelley?

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  6. He's amusing, helpful, and probably inadvertently annoying. A bit of a Han Solo vibe going on there, only in a 21st-century Earth airport!
    Your book is included in this week's Roost Recommendations, featuring a link to this post, a buy link, and a blurb. I share the Roost Recommendations posts on Twitter with readers looking for their next read.
    https://ornerybookemporium.blogspot.com/2021/06/roost-recommendations-15-june-2021.html

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    1. I hadn't thought of it, but you're absolutely right- he is a Han Solo type. A bit cocky, but hopefully lovable.

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  7. Thank you so much for sharing the snippet. I love it.
    www.rsrue.blogspot.com

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