Elizabeth Seckman, Author: raising kids

Showing posts with label raising kids. Show all posts

Happy Halloween!!

Remember, Halloween candy will be half off November 1st.

That's the real holiday.

Now, on with the post!

50 Cent and my baby, Caleb

Last week was a pretty awesome week for boy #1, my trial and error baby, Caleb.

Caleb was my first born.

I read all the books and sweated every choice from cloth diapers to disposables.

I wanted to do everything just right.

Then my grandmother gave this frantic mother the very best advice.

She said, "You know your child better than anyone. You know if he's being bad for sport, or if he's just acting out because he's tired and in need of a nap. Trust your gut and don't ever make choices to please others...or those books you're reading."

It was tough...going with the gut. I showed this picture to the left to a friend, and she exclaimed with shock, "You let him have Mt. Dew?"

I'd never really thought about it. He liked it, so I let him have it.

I cringed a little inside...what if I was screwing my kid up? What if Grandma was wrong?

But he was a happy, well-adjusted kid. His grades were always phenomenal and his behavior was exemplary.

I even let him play violent video games.

Gasp.

I swear, he didn't turn into a serial killer.

I let him sleep with the family dog...even when she might have had fleas.

I never spanked him. Even when he acted like a belligerent brat, and people around me swore it was the cure-all.

I let him follow his own path. Even when that meant wearing gum boots to church and Superman capes to the grocery store.

And you know what?

He's grown up just fine.

As a matter of fact- last week, he got to meet 50 Cent. And yes, he had to buy a bottle of vodka to do it, and yes, he billed the booze to my credit card.

No, I don't mind. I'd have bought a bottle of vodka to get to hang with 50 Cent for a second too.

Oh yeah, I also allowed him to listen to rap in his formative years.

I also encouraged him to party a little in college....as long as he did his homework before he got drunk, rather than after. Drunken homework completion is never a good idea. It's right up there with drunk texting and posting.

See? I give my kids advice.

It's just not the sort of advice Carol Brady would consider appropriate.

Okay, so I suppose I could be considered a bad mother.

But I will tell you- this bad mother raised some awesome kids.

In addition to getting to meet a rap king, Caleb also got his LSAT (law school admissions test) scores back last week.

He was shooting for a 167 out of a possible 180- a decent score he thought could get him into a few good schools he has his eye on.

Well, he scored a 179 out of 180.

One point from perfect.

I guess my grandma was right. I didn't screw up the wonderful human God sent me after all.

Oh, and guess where he's going to go to law school?

Anywhere he wants to.

Thanks to our hosts Lexa, L.G, and Tonja Drecker for this weekly good things check in!

1. No football this week, but we are play off bound!

2. Did I mention how awesome my kids are? All of them- even the ones I didn't mention.

3. The WV Book Festival was wonderful. I met some new authors who are all sorts of awesome, and time spent with readers is always time well spent.

Misha Gericke & Beth Fred host this monthly goal update. The idea is to think big...and then work hard to make it happen. My two goals are publish two books and master marketing.

I better get on the ball! I've been sitting on my manuscript for months. Truth be told, I'm a little afraid to self-publish. You people who have done it...how did you know when you were ready to pull the trigger? Usually, I can count on my publisher to say, "Elizabeth, it's done. Send me the manuscript."

Speaking of Misha Gericke, I'm almost done reading her book, The Vanished Knight. It's a fast-paced story that blends fantasy and YA contemporary. It's about a young girl (Callan) in foster care who is taken in by a rich family and then sent off to boarding school with her two new "brothers". Callan is swept into another realm when she visits a castle on the school grounds. It's an exciting blend of magic, romance, and action.

My only problem in reading this book is not having the proper amount of time to get to the end...I need to know! Who is the voice in her head? Where are her parents? And how will the past relate to the future? I suppose I'll just have to lose a little sleep and find out!

You can check out the book, or even better, buy it HERE!

Moving them in!
Me, Cole (in the back), and Caleb

It's back to school time. For me- that means taking two of my babies back to college. When back to school includes carrying furniture and scrubbing down apartments, it makes me miss the days of snack boxes and back packs even more!

But- even though it's work; it's still time spent with my guys.

I have entertaining kids. They're funny. And a bit quirky. If you notice, Caleb and I are blocking Cole in the picture. He was wearing a white shirt that got sweaty, and he didn't want any "nipplage" showing in the picture.

When we were done, we hit Taco Bell for some food. While ordering at the drive-through window, the lady asked me how I was doing.

I said, "I'm good- and you?"

"I am well," she answered, with more than a little emphasis on well.

My guys got a kick out of that. Writer mom got English schooled by the Taco Bell gal.

But I wasn't ruffled. I have the perfect defense:

When I say, I'm good- I mean, I'm good. Well only takes into consideration my physical well-being. Saying I'm good encompasses my entire cosmic essence and spiritual being.

And you know, some days I'm only well. Other days I'm good. And on very special days- I'm *gooder than good.

*I only did that to make grammar Nazis click their heels. But, I know how it grates on the nerves, so I'll be nice.

How's this? I hope you're feeling better than good and all is well in your world!

It's Friday, and I am long overdue in my celebration of my small things!
Thanks to our hosts in this weekly check in: Lexa, L.G, and Katie!

1. It's still summer weather- even if the kids are back in school.

2. It's one week until the first game of our high school football season. My baby is a senior, so this counts as a bittersweet one.

3. The boys are coming home this weekend. With two gone and the other two in school practice- it's been awfully quiet this week.

Cole, Carter, and Caleb
(Notice none of my kids had shoes that needed tied?)

Kristen Lamb wrote an honest post about the guilt of motherhood*. Since I've been there, done that, and already sent the stained tee-shirt onto Goodwill, I'll offer some tips that aren't likely to find their way into parenting magazines.

It is bad parenting that nets good results. They are, of course, completely anecdotal and have not been proven by any research. I'm only saying...I did it this way and not a single one of my children turned out to be an ax murderer.

Tip #1
The clothes make the man, especially when he's a child.

Simple truth: what's cool to a kid, may not be cool to an adult.

When my kids were little, I had the exclusive opportunity to choose their outfits for about one year. As soon as they learned the word no, they used it often.

The cute little sailor outfit was a no. As were polos, button-ups, and basically anything without a truck, a super hero, or an animal that could eat you alive if you weren't paying attention.

Now, I could have broken their wills and forced them to wear what I wanted (maybe), but as the mom of four young boys I ~~didn't have time for that crap~~ enjoyed watching their personalities flourish through self-expression.

Honestly? My first priority was keeping them alive. I had bigger worries like stopping them from playing in traffic or sword fighting with kitchen knives. What they were wearing was not a high priority for me. They loved choosing their own clothes, and I loved not having to worry about it.

My kids have worn gum boots to church and pajamas to the grocery store, and no one died. And eventually, they grew out of it. Not a single one of my boys started school in a Halloween costume**.

They are now all conventional looking, non-fashion obsessed, well-adjusted young men.

So go ahead...let them dress themselves. In the very least, you'll have great pictures for blackmail later.

___________________________________________
*If you're not following Kristen, I highly suggest you do. She's funny, smart, and paving her own way to writing success.

**My son wanted to go his first day in his Buzz Lightyear costume, so I had to rework the rules a bit. The wear what you want was modified to...these dresser drawers are for school clothes...these are for leisure and play. Kindergarten is the place to learn to color inside the lines, both on the page and in life.

Easy come, easy go.

The less effort put into acquiring something, the less it's appreciated by its owner. My kids HATE that...or more precisely they hate that their parents believe this to be true. I want is usually countered with how much money do you have? Then they're expected to earn the money to buy the excess, like video games, with the money they make mowing lawns and such. They call it mean, we call it character building.

Easy exercise?
Take a walk. No equipment needed! And if you have one of these...they're always eager to go!

Grizzly
He's napping while I write...
though he'd certainly rather go for a walk!

Easy Eggcellence?

I love eggs. Always have, even when they were the bad guys. I never doubted them and it seems science is finally giving them the credit they deserve. They're little vitamin powerhouses containing vitamins A, B, D, E, Biotin, Choline, Folic Acid, Iodine, Iron, Lutein and zeaxanthin, Phosphorous, Protein, and Selenium (I didn't know these by heart...I got the list from a Medical News Today article. To read all about egg goodness, click the link.)

I smacked this egg on it's bottom
then gently squeezed its sides.
Consider it the sexy way
to ease an egg from its shell.

At about 70 calories per egg, a boiled egg is a great snack. I boil half a dozen at a time and leave them in the fridge for a quick grab.

Want to make a better egg?
*Boil eggs for ten minutes (I start the timer once the water is boiling)
*After ten minutes, remove from heat.
*Drain hot water.
*Cover eggs with ice and water and allow to cool.
(Ice water will make the yolks fluffier and a brighter yellow.)
*Then peel. I like to crack the egg at the wider bottom, then squeeze it gently. Start from the side or top and the shell clings to the egg.

No one understands the twists and turns of the teenage mind like C Lee McKenzie, so the following won't shock her a bit.

Now Christine Rains is raising a young, genius child, so she may not yet get it, but she may as well learn now and get the shock over with.

I was trying to think of an intro post for Christine and Lee's new books- books that are absolutely high on my to read list because both of these ladies know how to deliver a good story. And they're both sweet hearts, so I wanted to do right by them. So I sat there looking at the screen- thinking hard.

Then my phone pinged. And I got this from my college student: (Forgive the bit of crude, my son is eighteen and has zero fear of Mom...and Mom is known to slip into potty mouth, so who am I to judge?)

Cole's texts are in gray; my responses are blue- just in case you thought I was trying to talk him into buying me an Xbox.

See? Teens are tough to raise. Quick witted teens- even tougher.

No wonder I like to lose myself in a good book. Thank you ladies for keeping me in stock!

Geek girl Morgan Reid has been to many conventions, but none that had her wishing it would never end.

Dressed as their characters from the online game Steampunk Quest, Morgan and her best friend meet the other players for the first time in real life. Morgan's attraction to the gorgeous Dean Bradley is immediate, making it difficult to breathe in her tight corset. Even after a few dice shattering orgasms, she doesn't believe this can be anything more than a con fling. But Dean is making her feel things she's only read about in books. Can Morgan let go of her cool-headed logic and allow herself to fall completely for the perfect geek guy?

Purchase links: Amazon / Nook / Ellora's Cave / Kobo

Christine Rains is a writer, blogger, and geek mom. Please visit her website and blog.

KINDLE PRINT EVERNIGHT TEEN

one Secret

Cleo has struggled to heal after her baby sister’s death, but the flashbacks to the accident won’t go away. With the move, she vows to keep her tragedy a secret and avoid pitying looks.

one Mystery

Something’s strange about the abandoned house across the street—flashes of light late at night and small flickers of movement that only someone looking for them would see.

Everyone says the house is deserted, but Cleo is sure it isn’t, and she’s sure whoever is inside is watching her.

another Secret

In one night, Belleza’s life changes forever. So famous, her only choice is to hide her secret from the world so she can silence small town bigotry.

Then Cleo happens.

YOU CAN FIND C. LEE ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK OR VISIT HER WEBSITE. SHE BLOGS AT THE WRITE GAME. See all of her book titles HERE.

It's no secret. Kids keep you busy. They're hug giving, money absorbing, mess making little time suckers. I always thought life would get less busy when my four boys were all out of diapers.

Ha! Not a chance. They went from diapers to schools and ball fields. Their schedules started filling up my schedule. I'm busier now than when I was up to my nose in Power Rangers.

And you know why?

Because I am one of those parents. You know, the kind who does committees, cleanings, and feedings for my kids plus others I didn't give birth to. Some days, I ask myself why...why do I put myself behind?

So, I asked some other moms like me...why do we do it? And here's what we decided:

1. It's glamorous. I mean those Mom tees and hoodies are just so incredibly chic.

2. It's drama at it's best. Move over Housewives...you don't know excitement until you mix the competitive edge of sports with the intensity of mommihood.

3. It's the gossip. We know what's up. We see kids in their natural habitat, and we probably know what their doing before the po-pos.

4. It's the cash. We get to see the budget short falls and get first opportunity to donate money to the cause making us givers...and givers get extra cosmic blessings, right?

5. It's the power. Everyone knows booster/committee parent's kids get extra play time...oh wait...mine warmed the side line most of last night?

6. It's the entertainment. Who wants to sit at home where it's warm and read a good book or watch TV when you can go out in the cold and hang signs or clean locker rooms?

7. It's the exercise. Why shell out cash for a gym when you can lug coolers and haul crates of food?

8. It's the free food. Did you know if you work five hours in the concession stand and there is a crusty hot dog left over, you can have it? Come on...that's a perk. That hot dog would cost you a buck fifty hot.

9. It's skill building. Juggling jobs, homes, and volunteer work will have you CEO ready.

10. It's the social network. Who needs shopping dates with friends when you can sweep up stale fries with the other moms?

Not buying it?

Hmm. Well, then let me just simplify it to one single reason:

It's for the kids.

All the work. All the hassles. All the stress.

We do it for the kids.