Deal! I’ll be expecting that drink in the mail. ;)   you betcha chick!

(oh yeah, that’s me in black, cause I am a chatty little interrupter!)

Okay, so I’ll give ya the basics… and pretend to know what I’m talking about, lol.

I bullet things so people read them. (Hey! That’s a tip right there!) (woe there reader, that’s the little dot before each topic…she’s not threatening you…relax.)

*Easiest thing you can do? Put your followers and your ‘About Me’ up top. Up there. ^ Know why???

(Hey Cassie...whatcha think? I’m considering going with the existential me def…I am a flower, my petals dropping with the wind…fine I won’t…stop rolling your eyes! Good grief...continue please...)

Think about when you visit a blog you haven’t been to before.   You read the post and dude, it’s awesome. You wanna follow this blogger. But who is this blogger?

Scroll, scroll, scroll.

Mmmkay, I see awards, twitter button, bloghops, quotes, current wip, current pageviews… where the heck are they?

Oh! There they are!  Sweet! Okay, now how can I follow?

Where are their followers???

Do they have any?

Or do I just gotta click the little button at the top of the blog that only works about half the time.

Scroll, scroll, scroll.

Ah ha! Found them.

Okay. Now, let’s do this scenario again.

Dude! This blog rocks! Who is this person?

No scrolling necessary, it’s right there! Right next to the followers button. Sweet! *clicks Join This Site*

Done and done.

*Font and background

(I instinctually did this right, cause I have 40 year old eyes )

Super dark blog. I can read it (thank heavens) cuz the font is in white.

*spends a few minutes reading, commenting… blah blah blah.*

*Clicks back over to google reader.*

Agh! My freakin’ eyes! Dude that is bright!

Word of advice. Dark blogs: Okay, as long as it’s not all dark. Same thing with bright blogs. And always, ALWAYS, make the font color, size, and font itself readable. No one likes to squint.

*Content

Monday’s post: Holy crap, life sucks and everything about it is just crap. I’d crawl into a hole, but no one would know I went missing, so what’s the point?

Tuesday’s post: Guess what? I discovered that every religion is one big piece o’ sh**. I dare you to disagree with me. I’ve got proof.

Wednesday’s post: I don’t get why agents don’t just read what’s right in front of them. I’m a freakin’ brilliant writer. I’d make them a ton of money! And they keep sending me forms? Screw them. All of them.

Thursday’s post:  Guess who’s better than every single person who commented on my Tuesday post? That’s right suckas! Kiss my a**!

Friday’s post: I don’t understand why no one comes around anymore.

Ahem… need I say more?

(but this might work if you want a small, but loyal  group of negative Nellie followers, people who understand life sucks, you’ll never make it as a writer, and it’s because the whole world is out to get you…NO, sweets, never getting anything beyond a form rejection has nothing to do with your charming personality or your refusal to learn!)

*Be a Friend

Someone follows you, follow back. Follow your bloggy buddies’ buds. Respond to the comments left on your posts, whether in email or comment thread. Let them know they are important to you, and you appreciate them reading what you’ve had to say, and giving their input. Comment on their blogs. Create folders in Google Reader and make sure you visit the people who visit you. Blogging is not something you do halfway if you want to be a successful blogger. You gotta go full out! And you won’t regret it either. I have met some great people through blogging. (Miss Elizabeth included ;) (right back at ya chick!)) Take advantage of the opportunity here.

*There are a ton more things, but advice number… uh, I forget what number I’m on… Try not to be too lengthy. (I suck at this BTW) I’m gonna say it, though you all are gonna deny it. People skim. I skim sometimes. It sucks, but it’s true. So keep it real, but also try to keep it short. (I know… hypocrite speaking here!) And if you are going to be long-winded, keep it entertaining. (Again, not sure how I do at this either.)

See! There’s stuff even I need to work on!

(yeah, we broke the rule on this one…but cause you’re here…it’s uber entertaining!)

Okay, so that’s enough spewage. BUT! I’ll be here all day people! So if you have any questions, leave them in the comment section and I’ll pretend to know the answer.

Thanks Elizabeth! You are freakin’ awesome! (as are you!!!!!)  *waits patiently for Mountain Dew* LOL…didn’t it already arrive? Did you check your mailbox…it was there…with a check…for like, um a million dollars…cause of course that is what your priceless advice is worth!


Thanks Cassie! And you, the hardy little dedicated wonderful lovable person that read this far...
CLICK HERE meet Cassie on her own turf. :)